Larry: “What fresh hell is this?” Jennie: “It appears that an army of photographers is aware of the fact that we were having a meeting with a marriage counselor. I wonder how that might have happened, He Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut.” Larry: “I assure you I […]
1. “I am king of this box. And my rule will be unstoppable. Anyone who questions my authority will find a mangled cricket on their pillow tonight.” 2. “Why are you asking me to smile? Our people smile for no one.” 3. “Don’t you dare come at me […]
1. I really shouldn’t have had that ginormous Cobb Salad this afternoon. I enjoyed the hell out of it, but the ensuing personal propulsion, so to speak, is knocking me off balance and I can’t walk from room to room with any degree of grace. Damn you, fiber! […]
Note: This is an older post, so please excuse the datedness of some of my comments. (I thought about revising the whole thing, but I like how it reads, even if some of it no longer applies, if that makes any sense. Hope so.) So, it has come […]
I just wanted a quick something to eat, folks. That’s it. And here we go… 1. I was nearly killed, Part I. There I was, traveling along in my car, bellowing along with Adele as she set fire to the rain. (Isn’t it amazing how the […]
After that run of Past Impefects in the last 30 posts, let’s pull something out of the archives to cleanse our palates before moving on… 1. People don’t pay any attention to what’s going on around them. This is a general theme in all of his books, […]
Man in the background, left: “See, this is what happens when I take the missus out for a Sunday stroll. She always finds a pack of urchins with the same haircut, and she thinks that by throwing them little tidbits of candy she is somehow improving the world. […]
Teresa, left, not fully understanding boundaries when it comes to waking people from an otherwise peaceful nap: “I gotta know right now. Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the […]
Once upon a time in America, circa 1780 or thereabouts, somewhere on the western frontier, which was probably just south of Pittsburgh, considering the era… George: “I’m so happy that we’re starting our new life together. Someday, we’ll make this country great again.” Heather: “Of course we will. […]
Ginger: “Wow, we’re really flying across this dance floor!” Fred: “I told you, it’s always good to eat a lot of broccoli before an important number and let the power of digestive gasses give you that extra zip. Now, get ready for me to toss you in the […]
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