Past Imperfect – #502

Gracie learned at a young age that most people were completely useless, and that the only way to have a satisfactory life was to avoid those fools entirely. And keep reading books…   Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 03/10/17. No changes made. And yes, I had the […]

Past Imperfect – #503

Mary, left: “I’m so excited about getting to be in a Mack Sennett picture!” Marie, right: “Oh, is that what we’re doing? I thought I was waiting in line to get past the velvet rope at a Steampunk-Goth nightclub.” Mary: “That means nothing to me. But I will […]

Past Imperfect – #347

Becky Thatcher: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom Sawyer: “But Huck said all the answers we ever wanted is at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks […]

Past Imperfect – #374

Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?” Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.” Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?” Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.” Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?” […]

Past Imperfect – #444

Katharine, left: “I can’t believe that this has happened.” Elizabeth, right: “That somebody let you out of your house wearing a Bea Arthur outfit?” Katharine: “No, that somebody designed a bra that makes your breasts look like that.” Elizabeth: “But I’m not even wearing a bra.” Katharine: “Oh, […]

Past Imperfect – #123

Fred had no idea if Barbara was telling the truth about that thing he was supposed to be investigating, but he was fairly certain that if she uncrossed her legs at this moment it would be quite obvious that she had little concern for undergarment propriety. Barbara: “I […]