Ruth: “I suppose we should get up and actually do something with our lives.”

Betty: “I don’t really see the point. I still have plenty of cigarettes left, I could do this all day. Although it would be nice to have an ashtray. Sorry about the carpet, dear.”

Ruth: “I suppose I could have one of the servants round one up, assuming we still have servants. That stock market has been really pesky lately. Do you remember what their names are, if we still have them?”

Betty: “They have names?”

Ruth: “Of course, dear. You have to put something on their paychecks.”

Betty: “Oh, I suppose they would, then. But can I ask you a question?”

Ruth: “Certainly. I hide nothing in this house except the good silverware, my jewelry, and unplanned pregnancies. Ask away.”

Betty: “Do you realize this is not actually a sectional sofa? It’s just two regular ones shoved up against each other, and not all that well.”

Ruth, sighing: “Yes, dear. I’m aware of the indiscretion. I noticed it about three years ago when my lithium prescription ran out and I couldn’t get an immediate refill. That same afternoon I also discovered that there is a third floor to this house. I had no idea before then.”

Betty: “That must have been a terrible day for you. However did you make it through?”

Ruth: “By getting a better pharmacist.”

(Originally posted in Crusty Pie.)