Cherub on the Left: “What the hell is she doing?”
Cherub on the Right: “By the looks of it, orgasming.”
Left: “From just a spritz? We should all be so lucky. I wonder what’s in the bottle?”
Right: “Whatever it is, I’m sure it doesn’t smell like her husband. She never looks like that when he’s around.”
Left: “He’s such a beastly little man, bellowing and throwing things and using us to light his cigars. I always have ash in my sash.”
Right: “I don’t know why she doesn’t just leave him.”
Left: “She’s staying for the cash flow, of course. She didn’t have a carved vanity table with that other husband of hers, the one that accidentally got run over by his own plow mule. Once you get off the farm, you don’t wanna go back.”
Right: “This house is just full of misery and deceit and bad wallpaper.”
Left: “You got that right. I don’t know how much more I can take. What do you say we wait for Orgasma over there to finish up and totter off to her princess bed. Then we can grab that bottle of gin off the vanity and make a break for Atlantic City. I gotta guy who can hook us up.”
Right: “Although that sounds poorly-planned and we’ll probably end up in a ditch somewhere, it could be fun. And I’ve always wanted to try that saltwater taffy the butler keeps babbling about. But there’s just one problem.”
Left: “What? You chicken?”
Right: “No. We can’t actually move, Einstein. We’re made out of gold.”
Left: “Oh, right. There’s that. Well, I hope Orgasma has some new movies in her Netflix queue tonight. I don’t think I can take any more Charlie Chaplin.”
Categories: Past Imperfect
Wow. This is really good. I look forward to reading more of your Work.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! I enjoy reading your posts as well.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Where can I get some of that spritz?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, I did some research, and this particular version of spritz was made at a nunnery in Barbados. Sadly, the spritz is no longer available as the nuns kept dousing themselves and they ran out of inventory…
LikeLiked by 2 people
By the look on her face, I’d say she was spritzing ‘Eau De Crack Cocaine.’ It has the ‘scent of the streets.’
LikeLiked by 2 people
Or “Eau De CoCo Chanel-caine”, which has the “scent of the streets of San Francisco”. (Please excuse the previous sentence, I have moments of literary weakness that shame me, quite often.)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, that was a much better offering than my feeble attempt. I’m deeply ashamed, nay despondent that I didn’t think of it. God, I hate my life…
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m wearing Coco right now so this cracks me up. You’re so funny, Brian. I want to say “evil” if you’ll accept it as a high compliment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I graciously accept you christening me as evil, it warms my heart… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so happy you understood what I mean. xoxoxoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person