Edmund: “Here we go, love. Smile for the cameraman.”
Millie: “I’m so excited to be going on our honeymoon!”
Edmund: “Me as well. We finally get to consummate our relationship, my poodle.”
Millie: “Well, about that. It won’t be happening.”
Edmund: “But we’ve just gotten married, precious. We can do all sorts of interesting things. I now have legal access to your privy chamber.”
Millie: “No, not actually. The priest said some very fine words, and I quite relished the part about sharing our lives together, especially when it comes to your money, but he never said a word about you getting to do anything with your stick. Either one of them.”
Edmund: “But this is absurd, my kumquat. It’s what married people do, the slap and tickle. And what’s this about my money?”
Millie: “Our money, darling. Half of it is mine now.”
Edmund: “That’s absurd. You can’t take my money, petunia.”
Millie: “Pre-nups haven’t been invented yet, my pet. And you have some seriously crappy lawyers. I did my research. Do you really think that we just happened to run into one another in that speakeasy on 34th street?”
Edmund: “But that was the best night of my life!”
Millie: “Mine too, for different reasons. Momma told me there would be days like that, I just had to pay attention.”
Edmund: “So there’s no chance we can be together as one? Ever?”
Millie: “Do you see that bit of luggage behind me?”
Edmund: “Of course. You’ve always had it with you, I just assumed that you would tell me about it one day.”
Millie: “Precisely, that’s what’s happening now. It contains my chastity belt. And it goes on promptly every evening. Lock-down, solitary confinement, no visitors allowed. No parking in the white zone. Do we understand each other now?”
Edmund: “I’ve got to fire my lawyers.”
Millie: “I already have.”
Categories: Past Imperfect
Did Edmund tell her he went up the mountain with Hillary to zea land ? it was all down hill from there.
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Well, he SHOULD have mentioned it, but he didn’t, and then all hell broke loose with the sudden appearance of a Yeti who bore a striking resemblance to Princess Beulah of Upper Gruntlina, a country that no longer exists because no one adequately prepared for Yeti appearances. History is often decided by improper planning…
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