Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #317

SR 1317

Joan: “What do you mean you won’t allow me to check in to this hotel?”

Desk Clerk: “We have a strict policy against letting people into the building with eyebrows that are bigger than the Chrysler Building. It’s a structural issue, and we can’t jeopardize the safety of the other guests. I’m sure you understand.”

Joan: “No, I don’t understand. This is discrimination. I was born this way!”

Desk Clerk: “No you weren’t. You would never have made it out of the womb with those speed bumps. Come back and see us when your gardener has had a chance to hack at those things with a weed-whacker.”


19 replies »

    • Confession Time: I have probably the thickest eyebrows you have ever seen on this planet. (I actually have to have them trimmed when I get my haircut every 4 weeks, with innocent bystanders running and screaming as the industrial-strength trimmer sends deadly bits of shrapnel flying through the air.) So I don’t really have any room to talk, but still, Joan Crawford’s eyebrows are legendary, and I just had to go there… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • I share the pain as well, with the double wide action on my forehead. But on the flip side, those bushy things have come in quite handy when I’m not paying attention and run into a wall, cushioning the impact like little bumpers… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • But at least her dress is very sensible… hold up, I never noticed that woman (man?) in the chair behind her. Hmm. That completely changes the story and I’ll have to do a re-write…


      • Crawford scared the living hell out of me long before I ever saw “Mommy, Dearest,” which scared the hell back in. I know she’s a major float in the gay pride parade but I never understood why. Is it because there’s so little to do for a dude to look like her? I mean, a thick layer of lipstick and a few false eyelashes and you’re there, Rupert. Nothin’ left but the beatings.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I think the attraction is two-fold for us Rainbow Folk: The first, of course, is her ability to survive in Hollywood, despite that androgynous look that she pursued, and the juicy/bitchy roles she chewed on. The second is “Mommy, Dearest”. That movie was so over-the-top camp that it was etched in our memories forever. (To be fair, much of that campiness came from Faye Dunaway, so Joan shouldn’t really get that much credit, but it still added to the addled legend.) Personally, Joan Crawford is not one of my faves even though I respect what she was able to accomplish.I just don’t envision us ever meeting for cocktails…


          • Thank you for the considered response. I’ve heard long gay speeches from some of my drag queen friends, complete with pearl-clutching, about her fierceness. I get it. I’m just not into monitor lizards.

            No, really, she reminds me too much of my own abusive family. Being at the mercy of a narcissist is NOT a Hollywood fairytale, I’m afraid. Anyway, Howard looked better as Marylin Monroe, anyway. He had the legs for it.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Oh, I completely understand being at the mercy of a narcissist, trust. (I’ll write that book some day, mmm hmm.) And by most accounts, Joan was a terrible person, especially to her children, so in some respects the drag queen respect is hollow. Here’s my minimalist and inconsequential take on the matter:

              P.S. How are you able to insert videos into your comments? Am I completely inept, or are you doing some kind of magical Harry Potter business?


              • Harry Potter WISHES he could do my shit. Let’s see him pretend to be perky three days before his period and we’ll see what’s what.

                Or you can just right click the address of the You Tube video up in the search bar and paste it in between two blank lines in the comments section.

                Liked by 1 person

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