Past Imperfect – #1
I couldn’t sleep for three weeks after seeing this image. (Are they planning to get to Heaven by climbing each other’s hair?) And yes, Lord, please guide them. To a beauty shop that doesn’t have a threshing machine…
Some completely useless and random trivia about this re-post:
This was the debut entry on one of my other blogs, Crusty Pie, the warped little playground where I create all of the Past Imperfect micro-stories. (What’s that, you ask? You aren’t following Crusty Pie? Get your ass over there and do so. Said with love.)
So far, it is the only Past Imperfect photo that is in full color. (Out of 358 concoctions that have been officially released. There are still quite a few in the Easy Bake Oven.)
The “Past Imperfect” concept originally began on an ancient blog of mine known as “Mental Buffet”, an experimental thing that went nowhere fast. (I am responsible for a number of such digital carcasses in the graveyard of little engines that couldn’t.) After that, I created a board on Pinterest known as “Shocking Reality”, where I fiddled with the tone of the little stories. I soon found out that people don’t want to read stories on Pinterest; they want to look at pictures, make cute things with pipe cleaners and a glue gun, and cook dishes with enough cholesterol to stop a water buffalo in its tracks. I’m not knocking Pinterest, but it just wasn’t a good fit.
The next stop in my wayward development of this concept was a run on my Tumblr account, “Duck Sauce”, where folks were more interested in my music video reviews than they were with my mystifying attempts to defile old photos. Following that, I dipped a toe in “Ello”, yet another social media platform, although this one is a bit more “artsy” than others. Ello can be interesting but, and I say this with complete respect, sometimes artsy people are just a little bit difficult to engage.
Eventually, I decided that the problem might be that I was tossing these “vintage” stories into the midst of whatever else I was doing on whatever platform, and it was throwing people off. One day, I was in an antique store outside of Houston (yes, I frequent such establishments, and I’m usually the one who won’t get out of your way because I’m studying an art deco ashtray) and I found an old tin pie plate with “Crusty Pie” stamped on it. It was a moment of epiphany. I must start a separate blog where I only do history-revising stories based on random photos that I don’t own. This would allow me to focus and get the same tone to all the stories. Eureka!
I raced to find the rest of my family and share my moment of insight. They didn’t care. They were much more interested in a vaseline-glass juice reamer. It only had one small chip in it! (This is the story of my life. I have a moment of focus; they try to change the channel with the remote.) Still, I launched “Crusty Pie” on WordPress, and it’s done decently well. I’m satisfied.
And “Past Imperfect – #1”, and all its aliases, is the only entry that has appeared on every station of the cross as I crawled toward validation. It’s not the best one, by far, but it was the seed.
Thank you for staying with me, as the preceding is probably the most boring and useless post I have ever blogged. But I know there is at least one person out there who will read my meandering musings and appreciate the minutiae of my life. This one’s for you.
P.S. Today is the first-year anniversary of Crusty Pie. The traditional gift for such is paper. Doesn’t that sound like you should hug a writer today? Just go with me on this… 😉
Categories: Past Imperfect