Past Imperfect

Flash Backward – #4: The First Slice of Crusty Pie

SR 1001

Past Imperfect – #1

I couldn’t sleep for three weeks after seeing this image. (Are they planning to get to Heaven by climbing each other’s hair?) And yes, Lord, please guide them. To a beauty shop that doesn’t have a threshing machine…


Some completely useless and random trivia about this re-post:

This was the debut entry on one of my other blogs, Crusty Pie, the warped little playground where I create all of the Past Imperfect micro-stories. (What’s that, you ask? You aren’t following Crusty Pie? Get your ass over there and do so. Said with love.)

So far, it is the only Past Imperfect photo that is in full color. (Out of 358 concoctions that have been officially released. There are still quite a few in the Easy Bake Oven.)

The “Past Imperfect” concept originally began on an ancient blog of mine known as “Mental Buffet”, an experimental thing that went nowhere fast. (I am responsible for a number of such digital carcasses in the graveyard of little engines that couldn’t.) After that, I created a board on Pinterest known as “Shocking Reality”, where I fiddled with the tone of the little stories. I soon found out that people don’t want to read stories on Pinterest; they want to look at pictures, make cute things with pipe cleaners and a glue gun, and cook dishes with enough cholesterol to stop a water buffalo in its tracks. I’m not knocking Pinterest, but it just wasn’t a good fit.

The next stop in my wayward development of this concept was a run on my Tumblr account, “Duck Sauce”, where folks were more interested in my music video reviews than they were with my mystifying attempts to defile old photos. Following that, I dipped a toe in “Ello”, yet another social media platform, although this one is a bit more “artsy” than others. Ello can be interesting but, and I say this with complete respect, sometimes artsy people are just a little bit difficult to engage.

Eventually, I decided that the problem might be that I was tossing these “vintage” stories into the midst of whatever else I was doing on whatever platform, and it was throwing people off. One day, I was in an antique store outside of Houston (yes, I frequent such establishments, and I’m usually the one who won’t get out of your way because I’m studying an art deco ashtray) and I found an old tin pie plate with “Crusty Pie” stamped on it. It was a moment of epiphany. I must start a separate blog where I only do history-revising stories based on random photos that I don’t own. This would allow me to focus and get the same tone to all the stories. Eureka!

I raced to find the rest of my family and share my moment of insight. They didn’t care. They were much more interested in a vaseline-glass juice reamer. It only had one small chip in it! (This is the story of my life. I have a moment of focus; they try to change the channel with the remote.) Still, I launched “Crusty Pie” on WordPress, and it’s done decently well. I’m satisfied.

And “Past Imperfect – #1”, and all its aliases, is the only entry that has appeared on every station of the cross as I crawled toward validation. It’s not the best one, by far, but it was the seed.

Thank you for staying with me, as the preceding is probably the most boring and useless post I have ever blogged. But I know there is at least one person out there who will read my meandering musings and appreciate the minutiae of my life. This one’s for you.


P.S. Today is the first-year anniversary of Crusty Pie. The traditional gift for such is paper. Doesn’t that sound like you should hug a writer today? Just go with me on this…  😉


18 replies »

  1. I am the one! I’ve been wondering about Past Imperfect so thanks for the back story – will have to check out Crusty Pie as I’m a big fan on PI .Happy anniversary! Isn’t ironic that on your paper anniversary you’re writing digital???

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi, Lindy! Thanks for being the one! The Crusty Pie blog is the one experiment where I’ve managed to stay consistent with the original concept and tone. On all my other blogs, including this one, I eventually wander far and wide, and sometimes I don’t come back (ergo the “digital carcasses” reference above). And yes, the paper/digital thing is ironic, which is apparently something that I specialize in… 😉


  2. Thank you for the backstory on Crusty Pie — I wondered where that name came from. How fitting for you it was an ashtray! 🙂
    But the picture — dear God, that picture. Was there ever a time in human history when that hair and dress would be considered attractive? If so, I weep for that time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m still stunned by the hairdos as well. Can you see how this single image jump-started an unhealthy obsession with making up stories about old photos that don’t involve me? I I was an innocent little lad until my eyes chanced upon it…


  3. My darling, consider yourself well and truly hugged! Crusty Pie is quite an accomplishment and you should indeed be proud of all of its journalistic Past Imperfect offspring. My only regret is that I am so damn busy or distracted that I do not take the time to tell you how very impressed I am more frequently. Love and more hugs to you and Terry, and I want to hear ALL about New Oleans! How much of the Crescent City did y’all leave standing?


  4. Following Crusty Pie, now! Great intro – I love it!

    And ye gawds…that picture IS frightening! Good thing my childhood spent wrestling grizzlies in Alaska makes it so that I don’t scare easily…

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Brian Lageose Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.