Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #337

SR 1337

The crime scene investigator was extremely puzzled as he reviewed this image captured by a security camera. At first glance, it did appear that the woman dancing on the desk was probably responsible for the corpse currently in the county morgue, and the primitive but heavy cast on her leg was most likely the source of the blunt-force trauma on said corpse.

But as he zoomed in on the odd sign in the background, his instincts went on full alert. “Do not remove newspapers from this room.” Who would make such a sign? Why were the newspapers so important? What was up with the water cooler in the corner that appeared to have radioactive plutonium floating in it? Clearly, there was more going on here than a drunken chorus girl attempting to high-kick her way to a better life. The investigator needed more information. He picked up the phone and called Oprah.

Oprah: “This better be good. The Chinese take-out just arrived and I need me an eggroll.”

Investigator:  “What do you know about Mitzi Gaynor possibly killing someone with her foot?”

Oprah gasped, and then recovered. “I don’t know anything. Unless there’s plutonium in the water cooler.”

Investigator: “There’s plutonium.”

Oprah gasped again, because it was kind of fun to do that. “Meet me at the secret place in one hour. Make sure no one is following you. And if I’m wearing a red dress, it means we’ve been made and you need to run.”

Investigator: “Got it.”

Oprah: “And whatever you do, don’t take any of the newspapers!

The line went dead.


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