Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #168

SR 1168

Actress on the Left: “I’m really not comfortable posing for this picture. And I’m not talking about the crappy lighting.”

Actress on the Right:  “I have bills to pay. I’m not saying a word.”

Left: “But we are clearly clutching phallic-symbol devices and pretending to be happy about it. This is sexist and it’s sending the wrong message.”

Right: “You say penis, I say I don’t want to have my electricity cut off.”

Left: “But what about the sisters fighting for our place in society? How are all women going to get the right to vote if we don’t stick together?”

Right: “I don’t owe anything to the sisters. I only owe something to me, and I’m going to get it, no matter what it takes. That’s what God wants me to do. ”

Left: “You’re bringing God into this? Millie, honey, I’ve seen you in action too many times. There’s nothing very Christian about anything you do.”

Right: “I’m only a Christian when the cameras are rolling. Now start smiling and grab that thing like you actually mean it.”

And thusly, the two main political parties in America drifted apart even further…


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