Past Imperfect – #115
FBI Agent Smith knew that a nest of Russian spies was operating in the Theater District, and he knew that they were posing as bankers, but he couldn’t quite figure out exactly where they might be…
Past Imperfect – #3
Gertrude was a bit peeved to learn that her thigh exposure was considered more of a disgrace than the stupid bathing bonnet that her sister had slapped together using fruit salad and some glue…
Past Imperfect – #359
Gunnar: “Okay, help me understand why you’re acting this way.” Eva: “You couldn’t possibly grasp my needs. You’re a man, I’m a woman. Different worlds.” Gunnar: “Really? So my ownership of a penis precludes me from any value in this relationship?” Eva: “Essentially. You willfully choose not to […]
Past Imperfect – #352
The esteemed mountain climber, Javier von Bigthrust, was working his way toward the summit of Mount Sapphia when he rounded a tree and encountered this scene. His first instinct, as he gazed upon such a mystifying display of estrogen-based revelry, was that he should run back down the […]
10 Things I Learned While Shame-Walking on the Treadmill Today
1. I really hate walking on the treadmill. It’s not the treadmill’s fault. He’s really nice. It’s the concept of exercise overall. Back in the day, when I didn’t have to exercise, but actually had an abundance of energy to do it, I was much more accepting of […]
Past Imperfect – #342
Tour Guide: “And over here, we have the magnificent foyer of Pickfair Mansion, where Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks would welcome the stars of Hollywood into their fine home” Little Sally: “It looks kind of crappy to me. You’d think it would be a bit more fancy.” Tour […]
Past Imperfect – #341
Velma was troubled. It was bad enough that this was the anniversary of the day her beloved was cruelly ripped from her life, the result of a tragic plumbing accident that no one saw coming. It was even worse that Velma, on a simple quest to procure a […]
Past Imperfect – #340
Peggy: “I’m so bored holding this position while they adjust the lighting.” Bunny: “Well, I must say that I shouldn’t be bored, considering what’s right in front of me. But since I’m apparently missing one of my eyes, my depth perception is a bit off. Are you stacked […]
Past Imperfect – #332
Prison Matron: “Now, Dottie, is this really a proper way for you to behave?” Dottie: “I don’t care! I’m sick to death of you bringing me the same lousy food on the same lousy tray every day.” Matron: “Well, Dottie, I didn’t actually make the lousy food. One […]
Past Imperfect – #330
The two spinsters studied the movie still and tried to decide if they should go inside the movie palace and watch this latest release… Betty: “Look at how she can’t even light his cigarette. She would make a terrible wife. I hope he’s not planning to marry […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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