Month: July 2016

Past Imperfect – #131

Humphrey: “Shush, now. There’s no reason to be alarmed.” Gloria: “But that steering wheel. It’s bigger than Utah!” Humphrey: “Don’t try to rattle me. I know what we need to do.” Gloria: “And your hand. I’ve seen that hand before. In the post office, on a wall where […]

Past Imperfect – #367

Hi there. My name is Betty. This shouldn’t surprise you, because in the year that I was born everyone on the damn planet named their child Betty. This was a disappointing development, and nothing hacks away at your self-esteem like being christened with an uninspired moniker shared by […]

Past Imperfect – #283

Clara: “How about we blow this joint and go do something fun?” Milford: “I’m working, Clara. Somebody has to put food on the table.” Clara: “What do you think I’m doing?” Milford: “Indiscriminate and random carnality does not pay the bills.” Clara: “You really don’t get out very […]

Past Imperfect – #286

Paulette: “Oh my, I really didn’t expect reporters to show up at my house at this hour. To what do I owe this…pleasure?” Reporter #1: “Is it true that a satanic cult meets in your basement?” Paulette: “What on earth are you talking about? Reporters won’t ask absurd […]

Past Imperfect – #240

Ethel #1: “We got one of those fellas with a camera up in here again.” Ethel #2: “Lord sakes. What the hell do they want now?” Ethel #1: “It ain’t Christian, you can count on that.” Ethel #2: “You still got the sign in the window, right?” Ethel […]


Here’s the deal. I was tidying up the house the other day when I noticed that the on-hand stock of a certain “relationship enhancement” product was alarmingly low. Now, I normally wouldn’t think it appropriate to publicly share details of the bedroom. But in this particular case, considering […]

Past Imperfect – #16

When Prudence returned home from her first year at Miss Prim’s Finishing School, her parents were not surprised that she had a letter from the headmistress explaining that Prudence would not be joining them for a second year…