Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #321

SR 1321

Judy: “Do you see what’s going on over there?”

Gene: “Do you mean the people who are staring at us for wearing ridiculous outfits?”

Judy: “No, not them. Wait, why do you think our outfits are ridiculous? These are custom made.”

Gene: “I have dice for nipples. And we both have stupid straw hats that have just never looked good on anybody throughout the history of the world.”

Judy: “Well, for the nipple angle, they have me strapped in a vaguely Asian gown that gives the impression that I don’t actually have breasts, so neither of our chests has been given any respect. And I’m with you on the straw hats. I took mine off before the director hollered ‘action’. But no, I’m talking about those people over there who are watching Fox News while they drink beer and eat corny dogs. That just can’t lead to anything good.”

Gene: “True enough. There are some odd characters in this place. Like this guy over my left shoulder.”

Judy: “Who is he?”

Gene: “No idea. But based on what I’m currently feeling on my backside, he’s overly fond of my dicey nipples…”


13 replies »

  1. “Dicey nipples” should win the internet for the day. Also, between that phrase and Gene’s splendid coat, I feel like I’m flashing back into a time when I watched “A Clockwork Orange” too many times in a row.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And we’re all sitting around in the Milk Bar, angry and bitter, waiting for the drag show to start. And the first performer? “Dicey Nipples”, lip-synching a Steely Dan song and waving about a marital apparatus. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t have shared that… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Holy shit dicey nipples! I am gobsmacked. Once again you’ve undone my laughter corset and I’ve come up more undressed than Lizzo who I really like and appreciate. But Gene any day my friend Gene any day. Also my grandpa looked just like Fred Astaire and could dance with my grandmother who was elegant and made my other grandmother very jealous. My elegant gramma died of metastatic breast cancer too. I wonder if I were to connect the two over written history if the saucier of us had a good hot time and quietly died in our sleep with beautiful dreams of those sambas on the dance floor….

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel a bit of contentment in learning that I was able to undo your corset, albeit in a manner that is not traditionally expected. As for my own grandpa, he didn’t look like anybody except me. (One of my sisters takes great pleasure in sharing, from time to time, a photo of grandpa from 1942 or some such wherein we are doppelgangers. His hips are slightly wider than mine, indicating a carb-heavy diet but, that aside, bingo.) And I also wonder about former relatives who were saucier than me and had more satisfying dreams…


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