Peggy: “I don’t know about this. Explain to me again why I’m holding a gun and wearing this outfit?” Photographer: “Two guns, actually. Perhaps math was not your favorite subject in school. Anyway, you are showing the world that you are taking charge of your life but can […]
It was a really swell evening at the nightclub until Humphrey apparently became distracted… Lauren: “If you’re looking for the drink menu, that’s not where it is.” Humphrey: “Well, something is there. Have you seen this?” Lauren: “Who hasn’t? Still, put your eyeballs back in, here come the […]
In a secure Processing Chamber buried deep in the earth, the wives of Republican senators receive their nightly dose of morphine to ensure that they stand by their man and smile lovingly, no matter what crap said man might try to spew in a press conference. A young […]
Editor’s Note: I just stumbled across this in the archives. Apparently I was in a bit of a mood when I wrote this… 1. The people who turn left from the far-right lane. Without using a turn signal. Or slowing down. Or even understanding what a turn is. […]
I do know some things. I’m fairly hip to what’s going on in politics (although my use of the word “hip” dates me severely), I’m generally savvy about what constitutes good music and what does not (more dating with the “savvy”) and I can kick your ass when […]
Although many believe the “Bathing Beauties” competitions at Coney Island during the early 1900s were the forerunners of the Miss America pageant, they were actually part of a scientific study of human failure. In this test scenario, the objective was to determine how long it took before the […]
The final scene of the play was a smashing success, with critics on their feet, rhapsodizing in that way the certain critics do when they decide to pluck a mundane play out of obscurity and then trumpet it as The Second Coming. Admittedly, the story was powerful and […]
During the opening night of “Chernobyl: The Musical!”, a conversation took place… Jan, far left: “I had no idea what I was getting into when I joined this chorus line. I mean, a girl’s gotta make a living and all that, but this is ridiculous. How can anybody […]
As they idled in traffic, Gaby, Lois and Sweet Pea did their best to pretend that the car door had not fallen off their vehicle, because to acknowledge such would take the spotlight off their expensive couture, and we couldn’t have that. The ease with which they assumed […]
Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?” Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.” Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?” Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.” Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?” […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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