On the set of Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte…
Joan Crawford: “Bob, we really need to talk.”
Robert Aldrich: “What is it now, Joan? Was the caviar on the craft services table not stellar enough?”
Joan: “Very funny. No, you need to talk to the people who are doing my hair. They aren’t listening to me.”
Robert: “It looks alright. Is it not big enough for you?”
Joan: “It’s too big. That wretch Bette Davis tried to shove a bottle of gin up in there.”
Robert: “Ah, so you bring up Bette once again. Isn’t that the real issue? Bette?”
Joan: “Of course not. We are both professionals, or at least I am, and I’m having a swell time working with that horrid woman.”
Robert: “Such a swell time that you’ve called in sick almost every day this week?”
Joan: “Bob, that has nothing to do with Bette. I just have lingering medical issues from the last time that you directed Bette and me in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?”
Robert: “And is one of those issues jealousy?”
Joan: “How absurd! I would never jeopardize this production over something so crass as holding a grudge over what that bit-”
Robert: “Oh, look, Olivia de Havilland has just driven up. If you’ll excuse me for a minute.”
Joan: “Olivia? She’s not in this movie…”
Robert: “She is now.”
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
HAH!!! Love the dialogue! It’s funny how starlets couldn’t stand each other back then, when most still had actual acting chops!
Joan hated Bette…and, Bette hated Jayne Mansfield, as Bette lost the battle for the notable body-builder Mickey Hargitay’s affections. Mickey and Jayne’s romance resulted in the birth of one Mariska Hargitay, who is most well-known as Olivia Benson on ‘Law & Order: S.V.U.’!
😉
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I need to correct myself, here – it was Mae West who had the romantic rivalry with Jayne M., not Bette Davis as I thought! I was tired when I wrote that post, LOL
🙂
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I hesitated before I answered your first comment, thinking “something doesn’t feel right but I don’t want to look like a dolt because I’m really not sure”. You saved me in the midst of my mental decay by forthrightly taking responsibility for your own words, something that most Republican candidates would never consider doing. 😉 As for the bitter actress-rivalries of the Golden Age, I think they’re fascinating, with the creative ways they would slander each other whilst still appearing polite…
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I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong, and making corrections when and where needed! I think that’s why I could never be in a political office…I’m just too damned honest, LOL!
Ah, yes – the creative slander! Those rivalries were fascinating, indeed…
😀
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I would not do well in politics, either. At my very first press conference, wherein I announce my candidacy, I would tell it like it is and suddenly, BAM, no more votes for me… 😉
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LMAO!
XD
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Swift justice in action.
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Lesson learned: No matter how big you might think you are, people eventually get tired of your whining… 😉
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I’ll share with you the Australian equivalent of whine—whinge, rhymes with binge.
A common Aussie phrase is ‘stop your whingeing.’
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This is hilarious 🙂 Thank you for sharing, Brian.
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Thanks, Hailie!
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Good one! 🙂
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This one is actually a true story, although I paraphrased a wee bit… 😉
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You had me at the ‘bottle of gin’ line!
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I’ve been known to ensnare folks with proffered libations… 😉
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