Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #374

SR 1374

Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?”

Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.”

Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?”

Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.”

Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?”

Katharine: “Well, it’s a rather delicate subject, but I ordered a… personal massager.”

Operator: “Oh, I love those things. They really work out the kinks in my back.”

Katharine: “Yes, well, I do have some kinks that require attention, but my needs are a bit lower than the back. That sort of personal massager.”

Operator: “A foot massager?”

Katharine: “A bit higher than that.”

Operator: “I’m not sure what you…. Oh my, it just clicked. I love those things, too. If I had a nickel for every time I-”

Katharine: “Let’s not get into personal finance. Can you rectify this situation? Because these kinks aren’t going away on their own.”

Operator: “Girl, I’m on it. I’m pulling up your account right now. By the way, what did they send you instead of the pleasure prod?”

Katharine: “An actual man. And he appears to be rather invested in his mission, so I think we need to put a rush on things.”

Operator: “I’m issuing an expedite right now and alerting the extraction team.”

Katharine: “And while you’re doing that, I’ll need some assistance with another issue.”

Operator: “I’m here to please. Well, not like the man that’s there to please you but-”

Katharine: “Can you find out what happened to the rest of my waist?”


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