Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #4

SR 1004

As they idled in traffic, Gaby, Lois and Sweet Pea did their best to pretend that the car door had not fallen off their vehicle, because to acknowledge such would take the spotlight off their expensive couture, and we couldn’t have that. The ease with which they assumed feigned indifference to the things around them, a trait which had been bred into their families after generations of affluence, was counterbalanced by the sudden appearance of a man at the door that was no longer there.

Man: “Hello.”

Gaby: “Driver! There’s a homeless man trying to accost us! I specifically told you to drive on streets that didn’t have such.”

Man: “I’m not homeless. Not that it means I’m better than anyone who is.”

Lois: “Well, you’re walking when you could be riding, so that means you don’t have any money. Someone hide my jewels. I knew we should have left the city when the government created free clinics.”

Man: “I don’t want your jewels. There are more important things in life.”

Sweet Pea: “I can’t imagine you’re on the guest list so I don’t know why you’re here.”

Man, sighing: “I was simply going to ask if you needed any assistance with this door lying in the street. The paint color matches, so I’m assuming it’s yours. And none of you look like you’ve ever handled a lug nut in your life.”

Lois: “Oh. Well, I hadn’t really noticed that there was an issue. But what do you expect to get out of it?”

Man: “I’m not expecting anything. When I see somebody in need, I try to help.”

Gaby: “In need? Do you even know who we are?”

Man: “It doesn’t matter who you are. Everybody needs help from time to time.”

Sweet Pea: “I don’t believe you, Homeless Man. We were just at the Republican National Convention, and they warned us about people like you who are trying to make life better for everybody. True Americans only look out for themselves. You need to leave us alone or I’ll scream that you’re waging a war on religion.”

Man: “Okay, then. I’ll just keep moving. But someday I hope you’ll realize that divisiveness is not the answer to anything.”

Then Jimmy Carter turned and walked away.


17 replies »

  1. Perfect! Love it. We Brits are completely flummoxed by what’s going on, probably as much as you Yanks were over Brexit, difference is, we are a mere drop in the ocean whereas you *are* the ocean!

    Liked by 1 person

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