Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #291

SR 1291

Peggy: “I don’t know about this. Explain to me again why I’m holding a gun and wearing this outfit?”

Photographer: “Two guns, actually. Perhaps math was not your favorite subject in school. Anyway, you are showing the world that you are taking charge of your life but can still look sexy while doing it.”

Peggy: “And what part of my life requires guns? Or the wearing of lingerie in public?”

Photographer: “The part where you want to actually get cast in this movie instead of selling burgers on the wrong end of Sunset Boulevard.”

Peggy: “I see. But isn’t this studio on the wrong end of Sunset? I had to leapfrog over a panhandler just to get in here. One inch less clearance and I would have gotten a free waxing.”

Photographer: “Um, I’ve had a few problems with math myself. I can’t seem to remember that the amount of my paycheck has to match the amount of the bills I have due. Which is why I’ve agreed to take test shots of young starlets who ask too many questions. And then there’s the drinking issue. It’s Hollywood, so there’s always a drinking issue at some point.”

Peggy: “Well, it seems to me that we both need a break, so I don’t see why we can’t help each other out. Let’s find me something to wear that makes me look less like a hooker in Tombstone.”

Photographer: “Well, I am less annoyed with you since you first walked in the door and made me actually work for a living, but still, the producers are going for a certain image.”

Peggy: “Why? Is this movie funded by the National Rifle Association?”

Photographer: “No, that organization won’t really have any influence until they start buying politicians and misinterpreting the Second Amendment. Right now, we just have chauvinistic men making decisions based on their stunted maturity. Besides, there are plenty of other starlets who will happily wave weaponry about whilst sporting desultory underwear.”

Peggy: “Really? I can’t imagine anyone else risking private rug burn just to get into this place.”

Photographer: “One of them is standing right behind you, wearing open-toed shoes.”

Peggy: “Oh. But where are her actual toes?”

Photographer: “It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you should always remember there might be someone behind you who wants it more than you do, so you better grab it while you can.”


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