Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #298


Gary: “What did you just say?”

Charlton: “I said I’m gonna get top billing in this movie no matter what it takes.”

Gary: “So you’re coming at me with a shovel? Holding it like that? What are you gonna do, tap me on the forehead with it? If you’re going to steal a murder weapon from the prop department, get something good, like this meat hook.”

Charlton: “Oh. I didn’t think of that.”

Gary: “Of course you didn’t. I’ve been in Hollywood longer than you and I know how things work. The best way to kill off a co-star is to sleep with the director. Second best, meat hook.”

Charlton: “Still, I want top billing. So I gotta get rid of you. I’m gonna take you out with this scooper, Cooper.”

Gary: “You fool. If I’m not in the movie, there is no movie. Who are you going to be acting with?”

Charlton: “I can play both parts. I’m a Republican. I already know how to talk out of both sides of my mouth.”

Gary: “I’m a Republican as well. And I’m not going to put up with anybody that has different opinions than mine.”

(The Shovel: “I’m thinking a certain writer spends far too much time creating surreal, unrealistic dialogue that undeservedly slanders good Americans.”

The Hook: “So you’re talking about the speechwriter for Donald Trump?”)

Director: “Why don’t both of you guys just kiss each other and get this foreplay over with? It’s Hollywood. Nobody will think twice about it.”


22 replies »

    • Well, I can’t really claim to understand the modern stuff. I try, I really do, but most of the time I just think “we had so much more creativity back in the day, before people ran to watch a video on YouTube to find out how they should be creative”.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, those people must have a hefty budget for their accessories, with all that bling going on. Well, except for the guy, who apparently could only spring for an Ace Bandage for his loins. I wonder what they’re so angry about? Did they watch the Republican Convention? 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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