Travel

Intermission #5: The Running of the Fools

intermission-5-2

So, an opportunity arose wherein my partner and I were offered the chance to spend a week in Spain, with the home base for this adventure being located in a not-very-big town somewhat north of Malaga known as Cuevas del Becerro. This tantalizing concept (“we plan to do nothing but relax and unwind”) was proffered by our good friends known on this blog (assuming that you have stuck with my musings for any length of time) as the Esteemed Ladies of the Aten-Shearwood Manor in the UK. Well, I suppose I should insert “what may or may not be left of the UK after all this Brexit crap-fest settles down”.

We love these Ladies of the Manor with strongly-felt emoticons. They are excellent travel companions, proving their worth time and again over centuries of excursions (we might be old in tooth but we still have passports, so get out of the way and pray for daylight). So when The Ladies surfaced their latest jet-setting whim (“Have you never been to Spain? I kinda like the music”) during a random Skype conversation, I embraced the proposed endeavor with an enthusiasm just short of orgasm.

My partner was not quite so quick to whack at the piñata of happenstance. After all, he’s still enmeshed in the horrid, amoral, cryptic web of Corporate America. He only has so many vacation days to seize and relish, whilst I’m retired and my number of vacation days stretches from here to the national border where Donald Trump wants to build a wall because he’s a twat.

But I digress.

End of the day, my partner eventually hit the buzzer of affirmation, and in the next few days we will be boarding a plane, Spain-bound. This promises to be an exciting and wonderful lark but, alas, dear reader, there might be a few hiccups here at Bonnywood Manor whilst we guzzle sangria, sample loads of local cuisine and belch contentedly.

I already have several posts queued up for the duration of our international sojourn, so you should at least have something fresh to peruse on your daily digital visits to Bonnywood. (You do visit every day, yes? This is what I assume you do when I envision my perfect blog world, so just nod your head in affirmation. It’s rude and un-neighborly to kill another person’s dreams, so let’s not, hmm?)

No, the only potential speed bump will be on my end (excuse the imagery that might invoke) as we frolic about the Spanish countryside. Rumor has it that the Internet connection, when it does burble to life, can be rather anemic and standoffish. This means that I may not be able to make immediate responses to your likes, comments and invitations to accept literary awards in Sweden (more “perfect blog world” with that last bit).

I really enjoy responding to comments, as some of you may have noticed when you proffer just a wisp of communication (“I like kumquats, too. Yum!”) and I come back with a three-page treatise concerning a kumquat I once met during a rehab stint in Puerto Vallarta. It’s just my thing. I am rarely able to demurely say “Thank you” and then move on with my life.

So, please continue to interact at Bonnywood as if I’m sitting right here at the laptop, pouncing on any submitted comments. Just understand that there might be a slight delay, and it doesn’t mean I love you any less than other members of the family who might get a response before you do. I’m sure that even if the Internet signal truly is AWOL in our rented dwelling, we will eventually grow dissatisfied with the social-media silence, rushing to climb the nearest mountain and wave about our wireless phones, yearning for the validation of the signal bars lighting up. (Or maybe not. Did I mention sangria? And lots of food? There may be a few distractions.)

Side note to the few wingnuts out there who may be reading this and thinking, hmm, Bonnywood Manor is going to be vacated and I can rush in there and abscond with all their worldly treasures: think again. We have a house-sitter who will not hesitate to crush you. Our treasure is not for your pleasure, so just move along, nothing to see here, including the baseball bat you will definitely not see coming.

And on that note of peaceful humanity, it’s best that I cease and desist with the rambling. It’s time for the ceremonial Packing of the Suitcases, an arduous, often two-day task wherein every single item in the entire household is tucked in one of the suitcases and then wrenched right back out at least three times until I make my final selections. This process also alerts the cat-kiddies that the Daddies are leaving on a jet plane and there will be dark, treat-less days ahead. They will both increasingly ratchet up the obnoxious and attention-getting behavior in a concerted effort to get us to change our minds, culminating in a final confrontation full of hissing and accusations. It should be fun.

Stay tuned for random photos of me falling off a Spanish mountain, clutching a weakly-lit wireless phone and a jug of sangria.

Cheers.

 

54 replies »

  1. Live it up Brian! You’ll need some sangria after the packing- our next 6 week trip in May next year I only have a 24 kg allowance so I’m going to start the first of several hundred trial packs pretty soon. The snorkels are staying but everything else is up for grabs- it may be a holiday with only one pair of shoes!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, I’m envious! I can imagine you all sitting at some sidewalk café, consuming all sorts of delicious, local delights…and if you happen upon the “teacher” who left her class to “get some chili,” or the local variant, then that will be a tale for the ages!
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Woohoo! Enjoy your trip! Why do people say that, of course you will enjoy your trip, you’re looking forward to it with great anticipation… What else can I wish? Oh yes, hope the weather’s kind to you! There, that feels better, even in Spain it can be a bit hit and miss you know, so that’s me being caring and solicitous of your well-being and happiness. I’ll crawl back into your suitcase now…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Chris! I thought I heard some unusual noises coming from my suitcase (was someone using a blender in there?) but I wasn’t sure if I might be hallucinating after flying at high altitudes. Now that I know it was just you, I can relax. Let me know if you need anything from the local farmers’ market… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. *Nods head in affirmation, but not before being rugby tackled by the housesitter for breaking in and trying to abscond with all your worldly treasures. Btw, I saw what was behind the red velvet curtain…I saw it all…*

    Have a wonderful time Mr Lageose!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “culminating in a final confrontation full of hissing and accusations” – yes, but what did the cats do? 😉
    Have a doozy of a time, steer clear of the floozies, and don’t drink too much sangria or you will be woozy.
    Will miss ya.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your cats aren’t sitting on -or in – the suitcase yet to keep you from going? (PS: Thanks for the recent likes at my old blog. Be aware I’ve moved to jadicampbell.com. Would love to see you there once you return from Spain!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep, both of the cats attempt to pack themselves once they see the suitcases come out, especially the younger one who will ensconce herself for hours and refuse to move. Thanks for the heads up on your “newer” blog. I had wondered why there wasn’t much activity on the old one. Sometimes I’m a little slow… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is the best thing I have ever read that says, “I am going a trip.”
    Since I am always going on one, I fully appreciate your creative take on this, plus, you didn’t say, “F*** you. I am going on trip.”
    I am sure other people have told you that you are witty, fun, and are freaking good writer.

    Like

    • Thank you, Cindy! I really appreciate your words, especially since I’m a fan of the words on your own blog. I really enjoy visiting new places. (Perhaps I should clarify: I enjoy it once I’m THERE. I’m not a fan of airports or flying.) I have tons of travel stories stacked around the house; perhaps I need to dig out and dust off a few of them…

      Like

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