10 Reasons Why

Circles in the Sand


  Editor’s Note: So, Google + has these nifty things called “circles”, where you can clump your connections together in categories, thus allowing you to control who sees what. (But your contacts can’t see how you’ve classified them, making it even more fun.) Good idea, but the initial setup can be daunting, and trying to formulate an adequate filing system for your acquaintances can lead to binge-drinking. Since I have a checkered past full of bad decisions and spur-of-the-moment eventual wrongness, I thought I’d help you out with some creative ways of filtering the people who reach out and touch…

  1. “Couldn’t Stand Them in High School”
  1. “Stupidly Slept with Years Ago”
  1. “Great Drinking Buddy, Keeps Mouth Shut”
  1. “Still Friends with My Ex-Boyfriends. Careful.”
  1. “Doesn’t Know What Year It Is”
  1. “Potential for Excessive Bible-Quoting”
  1. “Complete Idiots”
  1. “Says Films Instead of Movies
  1. “Relatives Who Want Money”
  1. “Hot Profile Pic, No Other Connection”
  1. “Politically Bitter”
  1. “Mute Feed, Knows Too Much About College Days”
  1. “Mute Feed, Knows All Childhood Nicknames”
  1. “Blows Sunshine Out Own Ass”
  1. “Aggressive Emoticon Fetish”
  1. “Possibly Has Incriminating Photos, Be Nice”
  1. “Unable to Be Quietly Vegan”
  1. “Yet Another Cousin from Hazy Branch of Family Tree”
  1. “Seen Me Seriously Drunk, Not Offended”
  1. “Seen Me Seriously Drunk, Greatly Offended”
  1. “Will Post a Picture of Anything”
  1. “Links Never Work.”
  1. “Deletes Comments That Are Funnier Than His Posts”
  1. “Apparently Thinks All Song Lyrics Are About Them Personally”
  1. “Adding Just to Jack the Numbers”
  1. “Smells Like Stalker”
  1. “Clicks Like Even If Someone Belches”
  1. “Fascination with Self Is Mind-Boggling”
  1. “Didn’t Like Them on Facebook, Still Not Liking Them on Here”
  1. “Too Tired to Figure Out Right Circle”


(Originally published in “The Sound and the Fury” on 07/27/11, updated and revised with extra flair for this post.)


23 replies »

    • I was actually lured in as well, by someone who shall remain nameless but made it very clear that any possible future I might have as a famous writer would instantly perish if I didn’t open an account. Some people really should just keep to their own business… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • 🙂 mmm, all those people that think social media IS your life are just weird. It is a tool to use as you wish, when you wish. You don’t carry your axe or shovel around with you all the time …. do you? (well, not unless you are planning on going into the murder industry – or you chops trees and dig gardens constantly 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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