Opinion

Sunday in the Park with Brian: Therapy Session #3 (The Expedited Version)

sunday-in-the-park-1

Confession: I didn’t really budget my time wisely this week, what with preparing for the Spain trip and all, but since I do want to maintain some regularity and consistency with the “Park” posts, I thought it best to at least put something out. So here we go, Sunday in the Park, accelerated…

ONE. Packing for vacations.

I really wish I could be that person who can cram everything they need for a month in one tiny carry-on, and they still manage to wear a different outfit every day. It’s just a skill set I don’t have.

TWO. The contents of my medicine cabinet.

Remember back when you were a wee bairn and the only medical needs you had involved an occasional band-aid and maybe an aspirin or two? Now? I need a pill for everything I do and for the things I don’t do and should have. There are so many things crammed in my medicine cabinet that opening the door is akin to a piñata exploding.

THREE. The soul-death of waiting around in airports.

Because we were trying to save a bit of money, we picked a cheaper flight arrangement that has us stopping in at least 46 cities between here and Malaga. By the time you read this scheduled post, we will have been flying and laying over for a total of 23 hours just to get to Spain. (And that’s if we make all the connections and everyone cooperates.) Expect at least one future blog post on the matter, if not an epic series full of anguish and pain and possible regret for words that might come out of my mouth.

FOUR. The sheer number of emails in my inbox seeking political contributions.

Apparently there’s an important election this year here in the States. Did you know?

FIVE. An update on the availability of kinky sex at Bonnywood.

Several billion posts ago, I babbled a bit about the eye-opening number of folks who visit this site in search of what I’m assuming to be erotica with at least a light sprinkle of bondage. The driver behind this seems to be some mystical combination of words I used in the second part of a series entitled “Village of the Damned” (which is about a miniature Christmas village, not a full-scale sex camp), resulting in search phrases along the lines of “village of the damned sex story part 2”. Based on the regularity of this phrase (and amusing variations) appearing in my stats, there are apparently a lot of people out there who seek this information. Or perhaps just one person who has no short-term memory.

Since many of you are keenly invested in this tragic tale (at least in my own mind), I thought I’d share with you the latest phrase that was captured in the stats: “damned sexy village part dos”.  I especially enjoyed the international flair there at the end, indicating that the seeker thought a bilingual approach might net him better results. In any case, it’s official: Bonnywood Manor is one damn sexy village.

Please try to control your excitement. I know this a titillating development, but management asks that you try to retain your composure as you queue up to gain access to the estate. And no jumping in line. Of any kind.

Cheers.

 

21 replies »

    • I really thought I had things down to a minimalist level with the wardrobe (both from the travelling angle and daily life in general) as I rarely wear anything other than jeans and t-shirts. But the gay subtext in my persona (perhaps I should say OVERT text) insists that I have every color in the t-shirt rainbow, so that’s one of the barricades I smack into when packing. However, I happily process any nuggets of packing wisdom you offer, unless the directive is “you must always look like you are attending a very casual funeral procession”… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jeans are heavy and take forever to dry. So embrace your colourful t-shirts and find lightweight trousers or shorts (if you can get away with them). And remember, there are only seven colours in the rainbow, so you only need seven t-shirts. Just saying.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Packing is my pet peeve. Luckily I don’t travel often (and in fact never if I could get away with it). I want to be the person with only one small bag, and by small I mean just a credit card (and the supporting bank balance) to buy everything and throw it away afterwards. Unfortunately I am of the financially-challenged case-packing variety, and have to lump it in and hope for the best. I did see a lovely video somewhere on the internet of a woma packing several days worth of clothes in little roll piles in a sock – good if you like living in t-shirts and leggings! (not sure you are a leggings kind of guy Brian, but may be worth changing your sartorial style to accomplish an easier pack!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I almost always arrive back home with a least a third of the “must take!” clothing items completely untouched (unless you count trying to shove them in the corners of the suitcase to make room for the souvenirs I simply had to have as well)… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hate packing – I either pack too many things, or not enough! Since we ride a motorcycle, the art of packing a ton of stuff into two saddle-bags and one “trunk bag” (and three backpacks, and one huge duffel-bag), is exactly that – an art!

    I don’t think I remember how to pack for any trip that involves flying, LOL – flying is my least favourite form of travel, and only used in dire emergencies…
    🙂

    Woo-hoo! With Bonnywood Manor officially being a damn sexy village, then it’s official: I’m finally one of the “Sexy people!” (as in the line from the Salt n’ Pepa song “Push It”)
    XD

    Liked by 1 person

    • Perhaps that’s what I need to do for our next journey, insist that we go somewhere on a motorbike (one that we will have to buy, rent or borrow) so that I am unable to drag along my mammoth, boat-size suitcase that sleeps four comfortably. Hmm. And yes, we are officially Salt N Pepa sexy. Perhaps we should get t-shirts made? (Oh wait, that would mean something else to pack, because how could you leave home without something like THAT?)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. True fact: My daughter spent 25 days in Prague with one carry-on, and from what I heard, impressed all her fellow travelers with her chic style. Of course, chic relies heavily on black, so there ya go.
    Also: When I was making her plane reservations, I considered a cheaper flight with an 18-hour layover in Moscow. I wound up springing for the higher fare and a 3-hour layover in London. Turned out she hated Heathrow with a passion, while five others from her travel group took the Moscow trip and told glorious tales about it.
    *sigh*

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hold up. There is such a thing as an 18-Hour Layover? Oh no, that won’t do. If through some bizarre chain of events you have to make travel arrangements for me never, EVER even contemplate the 18-hour hiatus option. (Unless you are paying for it, then go ahead, but I will still make bitter blog posts about it, with your character thinly-disguised as “Cheapi”.) Now, as for the airport comparisons, I’ve never been to Moscow, but can say that Heathrow, at least for me, hasn’t been too miserable, as long as you accept the fact that you have to pay 74 bucks for a thimble of coffee at one of the cafes…

      Liked by 1 person

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