Blogging

Ghosts of Bonnywood

yaddopergola

A long time ago and very far away, before people began paraphrasing the opening line from Star Wars because they couldn’t come up with their own introduction, there was a website. This website was created by someone who didn’t have the first clue on how to create websites, and thusly there was some degree of suckage exhibited on the website. (And the creation occurred before the development of “point and click” website design, meaning actual coding was required, thereby increasing the suckage factor to an alarming degree. “Real” programmers wept if they chanced upon said site, and some of them were never the same again.)

Naturally, the site did not do very well, partially due to the weep-inducing suckage, but a healthy chunk of the failure can be attributed to the novice creator also failing to understand how to attract visitors. The naïve virgin innocently adhered to the theorem that “if you design it, they will come”. This is one of the great fallacies of the Internet. Visitors do not magically arrive on your digital doorstep. You must go out and find them, luring and cajoling and threatening the visitors with dubious schemes and trapdoors and even hints of fantastic sexual satiation awaiting at your obscure URL.

The creator really didn’t have time for all that luring mess, as he was then working for a huge corporation which demanded that he continually throw himself into the Volcano of Never-Ending Sacrifice on a daily basis. (Of course, the creator did have time to cobble together hundreds of pages and links on his nascent website, so there may have been some priority issues.) In any case, the milkshake did not draw the boys to the yard, and the site eventually went dormant, dusty and forgotten.

[Insert awkward transition of narrative from one voice to another.]

However, due to the wonders of technology and the fact that I continue to pay a tiny monthly fee to a hosting service, the site is still out there. And it actually still works, much to my amazement, considering how often Internet protocols change, where a site can run as smooth as silk one day and then become a broken wasteland the next. (Cue more weeping from the sad programmers.) So that finally brings us to the two-point purpose of this post.

One, it’s very difficult to come up with two weeks’ worth of scheduled posts in two days, so I had to get creative with my meager profferings. Two, if you have the time, I’d like you to visit the unvisited site. Now, your initial response might be, “well, since you’ve spouted considerably about the crapiness, why would I want to go there?” And that’s a valid reaction. The site is clunky, with far too much clicking required if you aren’t the type of person who especially enjoys repeatedly fondling a mouse. But here’s the catch: the site also contains links to every one of my blog posts from all of my blogs up to that point. It’s a cornucopia of my literary expulsions.

So, if you do decide to visit (and I fully understand if you don’t; I’m not sure that I would, given this questionable opportunity), you have a mission, should you accept: pick among the wreckage, see if there are any interesting stories worth salvaging that I haven’t re-purposed already, and slap the titles in the comments below.

I know this sounds complicated and a bit daunting. Most of you will run for the hills, and may the fleetness of Mercury propel you to freedom. But I know that a handful of you will at least go poke around out of morbid curiosity, and it would thrill me if you decide to return with some selected titles. As we bloggers know, sometimes the well is Sahara-dry when attempting to come up with fresh or at least re-envisioned posts (did someone say “updated with extra flair?”), so any directional nudge you can give me would be really swell.

At the very least, I hope you have a little bit of fun peeking into my mind from several years back and learning about the original concept behind this whole “Bonnywood Manor” mess, regardless of what may transpire after that.

 

The Crappy Site:  Bonnywood Manor – A Resort for the Artistically Challenged

 

Cheers.

P.S. You will encounter a few broken links, either due to my ineptitude or the fact that I generally pull down any posts that have already been included in one of my published books. (The entire “Paris Chronicles” series is gone, for instance.) Unless you’re a completist, there’s really no need to mention the junk links, as I no longer remember how to fix them. Just ignore and go on. Thanks.

 

13 replies »

    • While I am a great fan of nudging at times (okay, perhaps nudge is a bit soft of a word for my personality), I’ll refrain from nudging in this case. You already contribute so much that I’m quite pleased, indeed. Not that I’m holding you back if you want to dive in. (Wait, I think I just nudged. Hmm…)

      Like

  1. Like this one, it could apply to polo-tics in my own country: http://lageose.blogspot.com.au/2011/07/25-mostly-pointless-but-snappy.html

    Oh, and this one just is the bomb, why DO we get consumed by games?: http://lageose.blogspot.com.au/2009/07/sixteenth-one-facebook-addiction.html

    Um, no more time now, have to go and tend to my Blog, Etsy Shop, new business website needs updating, 3 Facebook pages and, yes, I have fallen deep and low …Instagram – THEN I might get to play my game (Pearls Peril – yes, come join me) 🙂

    Hope you are having a fab time on holiday.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Claudette! I will definitely take another look at those two suggestions. (The first one I remembered right away. The second one? Well, I guess it’s been a while, but apparently I was pretty worked up about it.) We had a great time in Spain, but now it’s back to the grind, including the delightful joys of social media. Now, this Pearls Peril thing. I haven’t heard of that one. Maybe I should take a peek. Surely I won’t get addicted to playing it, as one would hope I’ve learned my lesson by now… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So far, I love all of the Scotch stories – especially the one about “The Big People and their Drinking Games!”

    “Charleston Chewed – Part 1” is great…anything that begins with “…the butt-crack of dawn” is an immediate winner, LOL!

    I used have a “blogspot” blog, as well – but I don’t even remember what I called it, and the password and associated email were compromised at some point, so I doubt that I can call it mine any longer!
    XD

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, it looks you DID come back with suggestions, so ignore my earlier comment. (You’d think I would have learned by now to read ALL of the comments before I start replying.) There are actually some un-posted Scotch stories somewhere around here, as well as some bits about his little sister, Cleo. And “Charleston, Chewed” is one of those series where I was going full steam and then I just dropped it for some mystifying reason which I no longer recall. I need to dig out the notes on that one. Thanks for digging through my mess!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s