Clara: “See, the door is right there. So I don’t understand why people didn’t show up for my party.”

Detective: “Well, I’m not really seeing a door, so maybe your invited guests didn’t either.”

Clara: “Oh, don’t be so simple. I designed the entrance to be just like trying to achieve success in Hollywood. You don’t know where to go or what to do but if you want it bad enough you will hack your way through the jungle and make people pay attention to you.”

Detective: “Hmm. While that sounds rather creative and possibly absinthe-inspired, and I really appreciate the hefty fee you are paying me because you have more money than you know what to do with, I have to say that there might be better ways to spend your petty cash. And maybe you should ignore the voices in your head.”

Clara: “Are you making fun of me?”

Detective: “No, I’m making fun of your decisions. There’s a big difference. We can still go to the same parties and no one will know that we’ve had this awkward moment.”

Clara: “Oh, I couldn’t possibly go to a party and pretend to be friends with the help. It just wouldn’t do.”

Detective: “Really? Well, I think we’re done here. I’ll send you a bill and hope that the mailman can figure out where your damn door is. But can I offer some final advice?”

Clara: “I suppose.”

Detective: “Get rid of that tree on the right with the one frond that looks like a giant dildo. You already have enough unrealistic expectations in your life.”