Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #393


Ruby: “Do you seriously want me to wear this?”

Director: “Of course I do. You are a woman on the prowl.”

Ruby: “With a tail? Why would I have a tail? How many women do you know that have tails? Because I don’t know any.”

Director: “It’s symbolism, Ruby. It’s showing your animal nature.”

Ruby: “Let me rephrase the question. How many women do you know, period? Because I don’t think you get out much.”

Director: “You’re making this far more complicated than it needs to be. Just prance around and stalk your victim.”

Ruby: “Victim? I’m supposed to be meeting my boss for cocktails in this scene. What does victim have to do with it?”

Director: “Well, you’re a woman, and we all know that women resort to nefarious schemes to get their way.”

Ruby, walking off the set: “Okay, I’m done with this mess. I’m taking a break until somebody pulls their head out.”

Brief pause.

17 seconds later, Ruby is back: “Why is there a litter box in my dressing room?”

Producer, rushing in from somewhere else that was unimportant until we needed him for the story: “Ruby, let’s calm down. We can’t offend the director.”

Ruby: “Why not? He’s an ass.”

Producer: “He’s an ass that is about to be appointed to the Supreme Court.”

Ruby: “Are you kidding? He hates women. How can such a thing happen?”

Producer: “This is America. Stupid people get elected because other stupid people didn’t bother to vote and then stupid people end up on the Supreme Court. Now, do your best to make nice with Clarence Thomas and let’s get on with this shoot.”


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