Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #333


Mae: “Are you really doing this again?”

Jimmy: “What? Dragging you out of the room by your hair? Yes.”

Mae, sighing: “This is getting old, Jimmy.”

Jimmy: “Not for me. I think it’s fun. I even put on a fancy outfit just to do it.”

Mae: “Well, I think the whole thing has become rather trite in our relationship at this point. I’m tired of having to explain to my yoga class why I have rug burns in weird places.”

Jimmy: “Then stop going to yoga. I don’t know why you even go to those classes. Yoga is something that should be done in private. If you have a need to sweat and grunt in public, that’s just masking deeper issues in your personal life.”

Mae: “Like our life? Where you insist on this caveman business?”

Jimmy: “It’s 1933. Your species has only had the right to vote for 13 years. Don’t get snippy. Besides, everyone knows this is all just fun and games. Even that emoticon chair next to us is smiling.”

Mae: “I don’t care what the furniture thinks, Jimmy. I want to know why you treat me this way. Is it because you’re so much shorter than me and you never got picked for the basketball team?”

Jimmy, pausing: “Well, I did get picked. But only so they could use me as the basketball.  It was a terrible time, with them dribbling and throwing my tiny ass. I was the inspiration for ‘nothing but net’.”

Mae: “Oh. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone. Go ahead and keep dragging me. We’ll sign up for counseling later.”


23 replies »

    • Oh my, you’ve won bonus points for not only getting the song reference but identifying the singer as well. Remember, if you you garner enough points, you’ll be able to select a lovely hand-crafted gift from the Bonnywood Manor Guest Appreciation Catalog.., 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The relationship had become a bit of a drag and then the tension escalated as it moved a few steps up. It plateaued at black and blue. Black and Blue was a classy joint.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Susan! Interestingly enough, and I hesitate to point this out because I don’t want to seem like one of THOSE people, but Mae wasn’t so lucky, She’s the one who was on the receiving end of the grapefruit, in “The Public Enemy”, not Virginia, who almost but didn’t quite get the grapefruit in “White Heat”, in an obvious nod to the earlier scene. And now that I ponder it, I think I might have the title for my eventual autobiography… “I Almost But Didn’t Quite Get the Grapefruit”… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • No, that’s okay, Brian. I appreciate the trivia knowledge. For some reason I thought it was Virginia Mayo. I guess I was thinking of White Heat. I do like the title for your autobiography. Actually, I am quite envious of it. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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