Bette: “I’m so over all of this.” Leslie: “What has you feeling so blue, my love? The lack of decent roles for older women in Hollywood?” Bette: “No, I’m tired of this tiny woman trying to show me her crotch all the time.” Leslie: “She does seem rather […]
Archaeologist #1: “What the hell is that?” Archaeologist #2: “Well, based on my research notes, this appears to be a rare specimen from the Golden Age of Hollywood.” Archaeologist #1: “What made that age golden?” Archaeologist #2: “I’m assuming it was a time when humans were able to […]
Well, folks, another year has escaped my increasingly-uncoordinated grasp. Since I seem to have started a trend with my last few birthday posts (50/50 on my 50th, 51 Things About 49 Movies on my 51st), I might as well stick with this pattern so I can claim to […]
Tony: “After this shoot, I’m never complaining again about how long it takes any of my wives to get ready for dinner at Andre’s.” Jack: “Yes, I suppose this has been a revelation for you. As for me, however, I have always been in touch with my feminine […]
Barbara Jean failed to heed her mother’s advice that if she didn’t stop doing that she would stick that way, and stick she eventually did. After that, the only job Barbara Jean could get was as a letter opener…
I originally wrote this piece several years back, when I was unimpressed with a certain political party. (I still am.) Reviewing it now for a possible re-post, so many of the lines remind me of a certain person who will be taking an oath later today. So, I’m […]
Just because, I thought I’d share one of the chapters from my second book, “Unexpected Wetness”. Enjoy… Chapter One: Security Breach So here’s the deal: Mom called me early last week. Would it be okay if she brought some of my nieces and nephews down for the weekend? […]
PR Consultant: “Wow. What exactly were you thinking when you posed for this photo?” Myrna: “Well, initially I thought it would be a brave depiction of what Hollywood actresses look like without all the glamour and makeup.” PR Consultant: “Uh huh. And did you have any second thoughts?” […]
If you’ve followed my blog any length of time, you’re probably aware that I am not a fan of turbulent weather conditions that might result in some skank of a tornado interrupting my quest for a peaceful life. Actually, I suppose that’s not fair to say, because I […]
The store detective grilled the intruder: “Do you really expect me to believe that you broke into this store in the middle of the night and did not have illegal intentions in mind? That you accidentally put on all the latest fashions and were about to walk out […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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