Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #452

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Orson, left: “Why are you staring at me like that? Can’t a guy watch a movie in peace?”

Joseph, right: “Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you appear to be… attending to a self-pleasure ritual that is not quite appropriate for our establishment.”

Orson: “Look, I paid for my ticket. What’s the big deal?”

Joseph: “The deal is that the performance should be on the screen, not in the audience.”

Waldo, way in the background, hollering: “Hey Joseph, your wife is on the phone. Something about a goat that got loose.”

Joseph: “Not now, Waldo. Bit of a situation, here. Take a message.”

Waldo: “But she really wants to talk to you. I’m guessing the goat is doing something that it shouldn’t.”

Joseph: “I know the feeling.”

Orson: “Are you calling me a goat?”

Joseph: “I’m not calling you anything. But I am saying that you need to put the wick away. That candle can’t burn here.”

Orson: “Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with? I could have your job.”

Joseph: “And I would gladly give it to you. But until that happens, let’s downplay the foreplay.”

Waldo, still way back there and still hollering: “Now your wife is crying and saying that you don’t love her.”

Joseph: “I don’t love anyone right at the moment. I’ve got so much angst in me right now that I just want to head into the alley and take it out on a trashcan.

Orson: “I already tried that and it didn’t work. That’s why I’m in here.”

 

10 replies »

    • This is probably not the moment to share what may or may not have happened in a certain Dallas theater, circa 1986, although “rosebud” might be an appropriate term to pull into the conversation that we are not having… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes. That is definitely a conversation that we are not having. In my particular case, laughter ensued and then someone was chased out of the Riverside multiplex. Ah, those days of yore. BTW, check out Past Imperfect 323. It was sheer serendipity that we actually made the same wheelchair reference.

        Liked by 1 person

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