Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #410


Tony: “After this shoot, I’m never complaining again about how long it takes any of my wives to get ready for dinner at Andre’s.”

Jack: “Yes, I suppose this has been a revelation for you. As for me, however, I have always been in touch with my feminine side. I feel their pain, I commiserate with their misery, and I stand in solidarity.”

Tony: “Oh, please. That’s a dumbass thing to say. You don’t have a vagina, Jack. I think that pretty much ends your inclusion in the Estrogen Pride Parade.”

Jack: “Well, for starters, I don’t think you understand most of those words you just used. And secondly, I have won two Oscars whilst you have won… hmmm, let me think… none! So it’s obvious that I have done far more research into the human soul than you ever considered doing.”

Tony: “So that’s where you’re going? An awards tally? As if we both don’t know that awards are based on who kisses whose ass the most. Just like presidential elections.”

Katharine Hepburn, in the far left background but no longer satisfied with her lower billing: “Excuse me. I have a few thoughts to share.”

Tony: “Aw, hell. Here comes the Queen of Nominations.”

Jack: “Well, she’s only that until Meryl Streep shows up and-”

Katharine: “Do not speak her name or I will cut somebody. Now, let me make something perfectly clear. I never kissed anybody’s ass, unless his name was Spencer, and I got where I am not because of estrogen or favoritism or gymnastic abilities on the casting couch. I’m on top because I worked my un-kissed ass off to get here. Any further questions?”

Tony: “None from me. It’s clear that I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to the fairer sex because I will eventually have six wives. And we all know where that got a certain king of England when it comes to the history books.”

Jack, slightly salivating: “I just have to say that you are the greatest and there will never be anyone like you, overcoming incredible odds to get where you are.”

Katharine: “Oh, please. We females are stronger than you think. Just wait until you see a million women marching in the streets of our nation’s capital whilst wearing pink pussyhats on their heads.”

Tony: “I don’t even know how to respond to that last line of dialogue.”

Katharine: “Well, there are a lot of men who are stunned when women actually speak their minds, but they’ll just have to get used to it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find my hat or I’m going to be late.”


25 replies »

  1. In 1242 Bettisia Gozzadini had to dress like a man to teach law. In 1959 Tony and Jack dressed like “the weaker sex” and be funny locking down all their masculine virility in the face of Marilyn Monroe in lingerie just to stay alive. Katharine Hepburn wore the pants in a number of her movies, even when she had dress on. Damn, ladies, look at all that progress. What, almost eight hundred years and it’s okay to wear pants in a democracy that thinks it’s a theocracy when it comes to you and wants to legislate your life’s status down to what you can and can’t do with your body? To where you can obtain medical assistance unique to your physical condition? Forget marching. Raise some hell. ladies. It’s about time, don’t you think?

    Oops. Rant. My apologies. Must be the allergy medication.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Here at Bonnywood, we welcome all rants when they are presented in such a wry and cordial manner. Please be sure to stop at the concierge desk on your way out so the clerk can merit points to your guest dossier… 😉


  2. Brilliant as always. And of course, Trump is still trying to reduce the number of women at the March, and trying to increase the number who showed up at his inauguration.. now talking about rampant voter fraud that doesn’t exist. No good at math or anything else. … And i love Katharine too. I watched Desk Set the other day for the umpteenth time. She and Spencer were magic together.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s so sad and unfortunate and frustrating that we are dealing with this Trump mess, but the silver lining is that so many people are fed up with him, including (an admittedly small but growing) number of people who actually voted for him. Every time I check the news and hear about another protest march or another Republican daring to question what he is doing, it galvanizes me even more. And as for “Desk Set”, I’ve seen it more times than I’ve seen some of my relatives…

      Liked by 1 person

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