Bette: “I’m so over all of this.”
Leslie: “What has you feeling so blue, my love? The lack of decent roles for older women in Hollywood?”
Bette: “No, I’m tired of this tiny woman trying to show me her crotch all the time.”
Leslie: “She does seem rather proud of it.”
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
I thought it must have been the “laid on with a trowel” mascara.
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Of course, that stiff mascara might explain why Bette doesn’t just close her eyes so she doesn’t have to deal with Tiny Dancer. And then there’s poor Leslie, who doesn’t seem to have eyebrows, let alone eyelashes, at least from this angle…
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Hmm…seems like Bette was ahead of her time. She could have been speaking about some of our present day actresses.
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Perhaps it’s Bette’s festive hat that is channeling the future, allowing her to see what future actresses, and certain politicians, might do in order to gain a shout-out on TMZ…
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You called it, Brian! It is definitely the hat!
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I think her head is being weighed down by the lamp on it. Amazing that she can make it light up.
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In a pinch, she can help a plane land…
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Ha Ha, very good 🙂
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Thanks!
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She actually looks like she’s accessorized her hat with the statue and lamp!
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Wouldn’t you? 😉
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Man, looking at Leslie’s body language there’s a “Would it help to distract you if I just went ahead and peed on your feet?” lurking somewhere.
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Mixed with a slight tinge of jealousy over Tiny Dancer’s zest for life…
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Brain, you’re warped (in a good way)!
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Thank you very kindly… 😉
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I just noticed that I misspelled your first name. I need a proofreader before I post comments!
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Actually, I get that variation all the time, so I’m used to it and hardly even notice it any more… 😉
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Wait, her crotch is speaking to me! I can hear it! It’s saying… it’s saying… it’s saying my hat’s on crooked.
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And thus was born a new fashion trend that involved wearing chapeaus at an odd angle, known as “The Crooked Crotch”…
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Bette: And I’m tired of trying to carry on. It’s just so so so EXHAUSTING. Get me a cigarette would you? There’s a dear. Somehow I know that along with my trowel mascara and obscure references to porcelain kootchie, that cylinder of carcinogenic joy and tobacco is going to become a TRADEMARK. All this thinking is making me faint, I think I’ll grab the mantle and try to ….. hold…. on.
Leslie: Over acting went out a long time ago. And there was no monologue for YOU marked in the script anyway. You bat eyed bimbo.
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Porcelain Kootchie: “You now, all of this fuss is really about nothing. I wasn’t trying to show my France to anyone. I was merely on my way out the door to milk the cow when this giant chapeau crash-landed in my nethers and nearly killed Bette on the way in. That’s the first thing you should learn about Hollywood. Nothing is ever as it seems.”
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