10 Reasons Why

25 Popular Song Titles in an Alternate Universe


1. Lady Gaga – “Shorn This Way”

2. Fun – “We Are Egg Foo Yung”

3. Roberta Flack – “Killing Me Softly with His Thong”

4. Gotye – “Somebody That I Used To Know Until Her Backing Vocals Annoyed Me (Why Are You Wailing Like That? Remix)”

5. Meatloaf – “Pair Of Dice By The Dashed Bud Light

6. The Beatles – “Hey Dude (Take A Sad Bong and Make It Better)”

7. Maroon 5 – “Moves Like Jagger (Until That Odd Bit Where Christina Shows Up and Doesn’t Really Fit with The Rest of The Song)”

8. The Knack – “Mice Are On Ya”

9. Rihanna – “Umbrella” (Ella Fitzgerald Tribute Mix)

10. Lady Antebellum – “Need You Later”

11. Beyonce – “Single Babies (Put a Diaper on It)”

12. Kelly Clarkson – “My Life Would Suck Without YouTube

13. Katy Perry – “I Kissed a Girl for The Demographics”

14. Colbie Caillat – “Bubba Lee (Effervescent Hillbilly Mix)”

15. James Blunt – “You’re Beautiful until The Drugs Wear Off”

16. Barbra Streisand – “The Way We Never Actually Were”

17. Rolling Stones – “Sympathy For The Deviled Eggs”

18. Dolly Parton – “I Will Always Love This Song Because I Made a Ton of Money off the Royalties”

19. Madonna – “Impress Yourself”

20. Van Morrison – “Brown Eyed Girl Is Not The Only Song I Ever Sang, People”

21. R.E.M. – “It’s the End of the World and I Feel Really Special Because Nobody Can Sing All the Words to This Song Except Me”

22. Corey Hart – “Sunglasses At Night Are Essentially Pointless But Very Sexy”

23. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band – “Road up the Caboose, Another Stunner of a Flight” (The Possibly Rude but Probably Just Misunderstood Remix)

24. Kesha – “We R Who We R (And We’re Too Self-Indulged to Actually Spell Out All the Words)”

25. Adele – “Rumor Has It That No Matter What Station You Pick, One of My Songs Will Be Playing”


Originally published in “The Sound and the Fury” on 06/08/12, minimally revised with little extra flair for this post. Only one entry was completely deleted, with a new one inserted, and the new song should be easy to spot for those of you who remember a certain comment conversation on a previous post. Was that a challenge for you to take a guess? Of course it is. And, GO.

Story behind the photo: This is a close-up of a pillow I stumbled across in Bed Bath & Beyond. I thought the other-worldly texture would be fun for this post.


20 replies »

  1. I liked this posts for several reasons one of which being I actually recognised many of the songs! By George, I think I’m making progress 🙂 Thanks Brian, to you and your chuckle making abilities 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good to hear you enjoyed it, and that you’re making progress with the odd offerings here at Bonnywood. (Another entry, admittedly weak and I had to jiggle with your name a bit: Phil Ryans – “In with Flair Tonight”…)

      Liked by 1 person

      • “I liked this posts…” I polo guise for my poor English. (My polo guise has been let loose again, damn those spell check japsters) sometimes I deserve little more than a slap and a Chevy Chase monologue and yet you treat me with warmth and a lullaby. Thank you, Brian 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You shouldn’t have started this…Like OMG really. The list is endless. Robin Trower – Another long solo in E before the sighs of relief at the bridge. Pat Benatar – This was my one best shot. I must stop now. I mean I like Robin and Pat. What about Boston – Don’t look back or you’ll figure out we only really wrote one song, ever? Steely Dan? Don’t even go there…Thanks for the trigger. I can amuse myself all day with this one, killing myself softly with your words.

    Liked by 1 person

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