Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #478

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Gary: “Darling, I have terrible news that I must share.”

Tallulah: “You’ve been sleeping with everyone on the planet except me?”

Gary: “Oh. Well, there might be a tad bit of truth to that rumor, but it’s really not why I called this meeting.”

Tallulah: “You’re a serial killer and you’ve finally decided that I was the next butterfly for your collection?”

Gary: “Seriously, what kind of scripts have you been reading lately?”

Tallulah: “To be honest, I read every script they hand me, because it’s hard to stay on the A-List when you spend your days swilling bourbon and codeine with the intensity of a woodpecker. So, yes, I’m a bit of an alarmist when it comes to men holding me in this manner. You’re probably going to kill me, which is what so many of the scriptwriters in Hollywood want to do with female characters because those writers are misogynistic twits who were scorned in the high-school dating scene.”

Gary: “I can’t even begin to compete with that line of thinking, so I’ll just ignore all your babble and go back to my original message. We need to get off this ship. It’s sinking.”

Tallulah: “Oh, right. Yes, I overheard something to that effect when the captain ran by me, screaming. But I’m not worried.”

Gary: “But we could be plunged into the water within seconds!”

Tallulah: “Still not worried. That ascot you’re wearing is big enough that we could turn it into a lifeboat and make it to Boston before we even start to take on water.”

 

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