Past Imperfect – #128


Casting Call on the set of “Peach Blossom Clambake” –

Starlet #1: “I’m going to smile like hell even though I know I’m having a bad hair day. Momma always said that clean, pretty teeth will keep you out of jail.”

Starlet #2: “”Eventually I will give birth to Christina Ricci!”

Starlet #3: “I have the biggest breasts. I should at least get a walk-on, unless George Cukor is directing this. But maybe I should tone down the Hitler symbolism…”

Starlet #4: “I have enough prescription drugs coursing through my body that I don’t care if I get this or not. But I sure would like a pizza.”

Starlet #5: “Eventually I will give birth to Sarah Silverman!”

Starlet #6: “I am so screwed. The skank on my right has a hairdo bigger than an aircraft carrier and the palm tree on my left is bigger than my apartment. They’re not going to notice me even if I rear back and give birth to an alien. Welcome to Hollywood.”


Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 04/06/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 06/14/15.


27 replies »

  1. In complete agreement with the others, spotting Christina Ricci’s mama was a clever bit of detective work.
    Also, I too am very familiar with Starlet 6’s role, with the exception it never bothered me to remain anonymous. It’s so easy to get away with things when no one’s watching.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now that you’ve caused me to ponder and reflect, you might be on to something with the joys of anonymity. Many of my greatest clandestine escapades were successful and non-litigated because there was no around to go “hey, isn’t that the geeky nerd Brian who takes all those creative writing classes? Should he really be climbing that thing?”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Man, I found a shot a lot like this to use as a short story image. Gotta love Fifties cheesecake. So do two of them have their ankles crossed the wrong way, or is it the other three? Is this a precursor to McCartney being out of step on the cover of “Abbey Road”?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I also noticed the Ankle-Crossing Disparity (sounds like a great sci-fi book, eh?), but I didn’t make the now-obvious leap to the McCartney connection. Let me find out the story behind this pic. Please hold and listen to some crappy Muzak…. Well, damn. I can’t find anything on this photo, not even using my trusty tricks in Google. I smell conspiracy…


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