Casting Call on the set of “Peach Blossom Clambake” –
Starlet #1: “I’m going to smile like hell even though I know I’m having a bad hair day. Momma always said that clean, pretty teeth will keep you out of jail.”
Starlet #2: “”Eventually I will give birth to Christina Ricci!”
Starlet #3: “I have the biggest breasts. I should at least get a walk-on, unless George Cukor is directing this. But maybe I should tone down the Hitler symbolism…”
Starlet #4: “I have enough prescription drugs coursing through my body that I don’t care if I get this or not. But I sure would like a pizza.”
Starlet #5: “Eventually I will give birth to Sarah Silverman!”
Starlet #6: “I am so screwed. The skank on my right has a hairdo bigger than an aircraft carrier and the palm tree on my left is bigger than my apartment. They’re not going to notice me even if I rear back and give birth to an alien. Welcome to Hollywood.”
Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 04/06/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 06/14/15.