Video Review

Friday Night Clam Bake – #2: Another Gaggle of Random Videos Presented with Flourish, Extravaganza and Severe Cow Bell

Method behind this week’s madness:

As usual, I have several blog posts percolating on the burner, some with a finer aroma than others. But right at the moment, none of them have quite caused the button to pop on the turkey. (I’m sure some of you know the feeling. The post is probably done, decent enough, but you can’t help thinking you might need to poke it with a stick a time or two, just to make sure.)

Stepping away from the Oven of Incompleteness, I suddenly remember that a mere few days ago, during my lukewarm and unspectacular presentation of the first Friday Night Clam Bake, I had promised several folks that I would make the Clam Bakes a regular thing. These folks were overcome with transcendence at the mere concept, at least in my own mind. Of course, one of the irritating bits about “regular things” is that they should be, well, regular. Ergo, it’s Friday Night and time to be regular, but I haven’t even bothered to dig up enough clams. (Yes, I realize how the last sentence sounds, but I’m not changing it; that turkey button has popped.)

Luckily enough, I also need to shuck some fresh clams for Facebook, where my Friday-Night posting of music videos has taken the world by storm, at least in my own mind. (Last week’s Clam Bake posting here on Bonnywood was a mere matter of cut, paste, submit, wait for comments. This week’s offering will be a bit more arduous, as I don’t have a full bushel of video clams on Facebook right now. The horror!) So, in an alarming hybridization of social media, I am going to be simultaneously posting videos on both Facebook and WordPress this evening. Tell all your friends! Buy stock!

And here we go.

Wait, hold up. I must show compassion and forewarn those of you who do not particularly care for 80s music that several species from that biodome are making an appearance tonight, especially the first three, since those clams have already been shucked on Facebook. But after that, we’re branching out, so just grit your teeth and keep scrolling.

Now we’re going. And for those of you who are not fans of music videos, ever, keep scrolling. There are some surprises toward the end.

The main theme of this video is that someone is really proud of their old-school editing equipment. Of course, at the time, we thought it was amazing, gathered around MTV with our lack of dating and inept social skills.

This video reminds me of running around with all my proud-geek theater friends and being far more dramatic than was necessary in whatever situation we might have created. (But Kate sure loves her signature move of “waving her arms over her head in a frenzied manner”, doesn’t she? Mmm hmm.)

This band was essentially a one-hit wonder in the States, although they fared better elsewhere. The song is great, but the video easily fits into the category of “how many times do we need to see fleeting shots of people we don’t know doing things we don’t understand?”

There are better songs of this video out there, but this one feels different, perhaps because he wasn’t a huge superstar, just yet. And the opening shot of the roses on his outfit is a somewhat eerie harbinger of a song that he would release many years later…

And we’re going even further back. Again, there are better videos out there. But the fact that Miss Dusty chose to wear a dress that matches the fake Spanish moss on the fake set makes this a hoot that you can’t ignore. And if you don’t own the “Dusty in Memphis” album, you should.

How can you not love a video that is so outrageously campy and devoid of artistic value at the same time? (Shout out to the backup dancer in the pink sweater who is really trying to sell it, even though she’s not sure what she’s selling.)

Not a great video, clearly released well after the single and album. But it’s a great song.

Gone too soon. But really, isn’t it too soon for any of us? Make sure you are doing what you need to do.

I’ve actually done an entire blog post on this next clip, and I should really let it go at that. But sometimes you encounter things that are so effortlessly surreal that you can’t help but pull them out of the archives and ponder two things. One, entertainment values have changed over the years. Two, I never was and never will be limber enough to do anything that is happening in this video. Except for the mooing cows. I could probably reach that personal peak if I really tried.

And finally, another clip that once merited a stand-alone blog post, although I currently don’t recall where or when (probably the halcyon days of “The Sound and the Fury”), so I may or may not be lying to you. As seems to be one of our themes tonight, the quality of the video is exceptionally crappy, but the humor is just as fresh as the mussels.

That’s it for now, fellow clam bakers. I’m still fiddling with this new concept, so please grab a comment card as you run out the door…



27 replies »

  1. I’m up to the dizzy heights of 80% this week! (Had I quit at number 8 I’d have a had an unblemished nose bleed) Great post, Brian 🙂 My hours of revision in the 80’s are bizarrely only now paying off 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I just received the final scoring from the Official Judgment Committee, and they have ruled that the last two entries do not count, as they are not music videos, per se. Therefore, you have garnered the lofty 100% objective. Congratulations. But let’s not get too proud or buy a fancy shirt as celebration, as the next Clam Bake will be here in a mere 6 days… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Goodie, goodie, keep them up, I support all the tunes. Way to go, to start off with Duran Duran. So in your face! 😀 Just don’t go to their concert without glasses, so that it doesn’t much matter when their playback dies. And I’d give my pinkie to be at their concert back then…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I desperately wanted to see Duran Duran during my college days, when they were all the rage, but I was a poorly scholarship lad and my revenue stream was tiny and unworthy. I could only worship them from afar, and dream of better times… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • I saw them twice. First in Munich in 1987 (just when I was starting to move towards The Doors) – but ever since the first song, A View to a Kill, it was such fun, we were rocking so hard way back that a security guy came to ask us if we could please move to the front row. I have never since been asked anything like that. Possibly cause I’m in the first row or thereabouts already. The second time was 5 years ago or so in my hometown Ljubljana. We were mid floor and I didn’t have my glasses yet and almost hit my sister when she said: “You were right all this time! John IS hot!” and I couldn’t see a thing. Could just hear the damn playback die at the start of Save a Prayer. No repeat can fix that.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’m already jealous of the life you’ve led, and now I find out that you’ve seen Duran Duran TWICE. We really need to sit down some time and compare notes. (I promise not to make any disparaging remarks about lettuce or leafy greens in general.) Now, this hotness factor: I suppose John could be considered steamy, but in the 80s I was rather enamored of Roger and I desperately wanted him to play the drums for me… 😉

          Liked by 1 person

  3. I want you to know, dear Brian, that I didn’t ignore your previous post. I just forgot. You see, I have an ancient iPad with video issues. Sometimes I can watch them with no problem, other times it’s “nope, not today!” and I get the dreaded “A problem occurred with this webpage so it was reloaded” over and over again, until I give up, with much weeping and gnashing of teeth. I meant to return to your post the next time I claimed time on our desktop, but forgot.
    I had issues this time too, but no matter. I’ll still comment.
    Son is a proud-geek theater fan too, hence the only reason I know of Kate Bush (I mostly slept through the 80s).
    And I remember the potato video from the first time you ran it. Dang, those three know how to exit a room in style! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • All is forgiven, naturally. I know all about connections and timing and 75 billion unanswered emails. And there have been many times when I have been on your own blog, relished a post, realized I should make a meaningful comment, couldn’t come up with anything relevant and/or touching, noticed that you were getting sweet blog love from others making comments, decided it was okay if perhaps I didn’t comment this time, then simply hit the “Like” button and scurried away into the night. My behavior was shameful, naturally, but these things happen… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the addition of the vids because it feels like we are having a viewing party. Duran Duran were one of my favorite bands but all that hair product was amazing! Nancy Sinatra. Would it have killed her or her background crew to wear some pants? Was she Beyonce before Beyonce? That chick in the pink sweater is really working it. I don’t know if she thinks that the casting director can get her a movie or what. All exceptional choices, Brian!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Susan! I’m really enjoying doing the Clam Bakes, even though my traffic stats plummet when I do so. (I know, I’m not supposed to concern myself with such things if I’m a “true artiste”, but I can’t help it.) And the Sinatra video: It’s nice that Nancy and Pink Sweater were trying to be all defiant and such, but their message was severely undercut by the shameful artistic choices in the video. In any case, as you are an admirable font of quirky trivia, what theme would you like to see in future Clam Bakes? Pray tell.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh man. Famous no matter who your daddy is lip syncs. Complete with bruise worthy pelvic thrusts and skirts so short there were extra cheeks to powder and don’t even make that lipstick joke! But my fave? Here ya go. Call me square but I dug this guy. No, I dug his band. Not enough cowbell but that is one hell of a magic accordion…


    • There’s also a funny story about an eighth grade guy and this song and a pool party and a crush on a Miss Popularity girl who would one day run off with an escaped cop killer …


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