Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #487

Real Barbara: “I just don’t understand why I’m not getting the movie roles that I deserve.”

Mirror Barbara: “Well, let me see if I can help you out with that. For starters, what’s up with that dress you’re wearing? It says all the wrong things at all the wrong times.”

Real Barbara: “But this dress was designed by Hubris de Paris. It cost more than the governmental budget of Guatemala.”

Mirror Barbara: “That doesn’t say much for Guatemala. What it does say is inaccessibility. I haven’t seen such a mass of off-putting ruff since Henry the VIII created a new religion just because he didn’t play well with others. I could point out that Donald Trump will do the same thing 500 years later, but I’ll leave that to the historians.”

Real Barbara: “Are you implying that I’m not respected as an actress because of my couture choices?”

Mirror Barbara: “Well, that’s one part of it. Another part is that you have more accessories on your vanity table than anyone in the history of the planet really needs. How is a casting director going to find you if there is so much competition in the scene? Get rid of all those extras so you stand out better. Oh, and while you’re at it, promise the casting director that you will do anything it takes to get the part.”

Real Barbara: “But what if I don’t want to do what he wants me to do. I’m all for a good time, but there are limits, despite what that wretched Hedda Hopper has to say.”

Mirror Barbara: “It doesn’t matter. Once you get the part and sign the contract, everybody else can get stuffed.”

Real Barbara: “So you’re saying the only way to get the good roles is to wear the right outfits, surround myself with carefully-selected accessories, and tell people lies they want to hear about things I have no intention of doing?”

Mirror Barbara: “Yes. Just like presidential elections.”


20 replies »

  1. Presidential elections? Puh-shaw. (Now there’s you an Okie-ism.) Any decent Thesaurus should have auto-corrected that into “ANY election”. Find me a truly altruistic politician and we’ll both chip in to buy them a new sleeping bag and strive with utmost diligence to find them affordable housing and a box of food that will come with a sermon and a new toothbrush. I’ve read a number of your not so transparent political jabs and you’re right. We should market a bumper sticker. “DON’T WHINE -VOTE”. Because one of these days ALL of those duly elected promise making drooling mouthpieces for self aggrandizement will STFU and get back to running the country.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, I did have to override the auto-correct in order to get this one past security. And to your point, most politicians end up performing differently than expected on certain things; that’s just the nature of the political beast, especially if one hopes to get re-elected in an area with a fairly-balanced voter base. But it’s one thing to waffle on an issue which has merits on both sides; it’s another thing entirely to run on a platform of profound deceit and then turn around and legislatively harm the well-being of most of the people who voted for you, as well as anyone else in the country who isn’t independently wealthy. We are in the grip of a near-sighted oligarchy right now; it’s up to the people to rise if they want to change that.


  2. Nicely played, sir.
    The dress looks like something that brat Nellie would wear in Little House on the Prairie. But then, you probably didn’t watch that show, did you?
    Side note: I had a Holly Hobbie lunch box.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I had a comment chat recently about “Little House”, and I thought it was with you, but apparently not. (Memory… it turns on you with a vengeance.) I had a huge crush on Pa/Michael Landon, and I would tune in faithfully, hoping that he would chop wood or do something else that made him sweaty. I also wanted to throw Nellie in the crick, constantly. (Although I did eventually read Alison Arngrim’s “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch”, which is both hysterical and touchingly personal.)

      I cannot judge the Holly Hobbie lunch box, having owned a Lidsville lunch box. Let’s move on.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.