Month: May 2017

Past Imperfect – #41

Flapper #1: “I really need to win this audition, so I made a bold statement with my hat and I almost let people see my France. Of course, I’m always running about and flashing my France, so this really isn’t different than any other day for me. But […]

Idiot Fondue: Case Study – #22

Note: This is another entry from a now-defunct blog wherein folks would submit silly questions to a fake psychologist and I would use them as a launching pad to destinations unknown… Dr. Brian, I am heading to Dallas in two days and will be staying with my mother […]

Past Imperfect – #39

Ernst: “I’m so sorry. Have you been waiting an eternity, my love?” Greta: “What does my face say?” Ernst: “Your beautiful face says that I should remain over here until I ensure that you don’t have a sharp weapon tucked under your napkin.” Greta: “Well, that’s part of […]

Blowin’ in the Wind

We’ve all been there. You’re in a public place. Or semi-public. It doesn’t really matter. The point is that there are people around and you cannot do certain things. You should not be digging for Waldo in your honker. Touching your genitals, even if it’s a simple readjustment […]

Past Imperfect – #38

Mellie, having finally gotten her things in order: “Momma, I’m ready!” Momma, apparently somewhere else in the house because she clearly isn’t in this picture: “Ready for what, dear? Breakfast? Give me a few minutes, I’m almost done.” Mellie, obviously unaware that her collar was all jacked-up even […]

Past Imperfect – #107

Anne hit the perfect-husband jackpot when she found a man who did what he was told, didn’t have to be fed, never argued, put her on a pedestal, and provided her with an endless supply of luxury footwear. Of course, procreation was going to prove interesting, and she […]

Past Imperfect – #197

Director: “I’m sorry, what are you trying to accomplish with that pose?” Actress: “I’m showing the inner torment of my character.” Director: “When did your character become a pouty mermaid? We don’t even have any water in this film.” Actress: “Isn’t that a picture of the Titanic behind […]