Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #38

Mellie, having finally gotten her things in order: “Momma, I’m ready!”

Momma, apparently somewhere else in the house because she clearly isn’t in this picture: “Ready for what, dear? Breakfast? Give me a few minutes, I’m almost done.”

Mellie, obviously unaware that her collar was all jacked-up even though we are all staring at it: “No, Momma. I don’t want breakfast. I want a husband. I’m getting married today.”

Momma, throwing something substantial into her cast-iron skillet and causing the spitting grease to shriek in greedy anticipation: “Married? Mellie Jo, you can’t do that today.”

Mellie, quickly irritated with her mother because that’s just in the skill set of daughters: “You can’t stop me! I want a husband and I want him now!”

Momma, simultaneously frying bacon, whisking eggs and frosting a cake because that’s in the skill set of mothers: “You are not getting married. And you’re missing a very important point, darling.”

Mellie, still not noticing the collar which was now reaching a point of critical distraction for the audience: “That he’s not going to like you very much because you’re mean? Don’t worry, we aren’t going to live here so maybe he won’t notice.”

Momma, deftly making cream gravy and ironing shirts: “No, darling. The point is that marriage requires having someone who wants to do that with you. I’m not aware of you even dating anyone in the past three years. Who have you met that has led to such an unexpected betrothing? And please, dear child, do not mention prison pen-pals or livestock in your answer or these eggs are going in the trash.”

Mellie, finally noticing the collar but not really caring: “Oh, I haven’t met the man yet. But I wrote in my diary years ago that I would be married by my twenty-first birthday, and since that’s today, I need to get busy.”

Momma, flipping pancakes and mopping the kitchen floor, because one of the pancakes made a break for freedom while it was still mostly batter: “How are earth do you plan to find a man and get married in one day?”

Mellie, just now realizing the she was inexplicably sitting on a table but not caring about that, either: “I thought I would do it like you did. I’m going down to the VFW barn dance, drink too much of the special punch, flirt with all the guys, and then get knocked up in the parking lot.”

Momma, ceasing all activity for the first time in twenty-one years: “I did not see that coming.”

Mellie: “And I bet Daddy didn’t either when he walked up to you at the VFW and asked you to dance.”


29 replies »

  1. I don’t know who this lady is, but she looks kinda like (a lot like – haha) my relatives on my mister’s side of the family. Her story could be a replica of their stories, except they didn’t wait until they were 21…more like 15! haha and the VFW ploy worked beautifully!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. She looks freakishly like my first wife. Had she not had her nose rebulit due a horse kick accident, it could be her. The one with 4 personalities. I could have beat this one all day long. Except for daddy and the VFW.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was going to make some smarmy remark about how Mellie had already ‘known’ her intended, because she’s obviously wearing his bathrobe…but D. Wallace Peach beat me to the punchline…pays to get up real early in the morning, doesn’t it? Besides, Mellie went on, not to marry, but to write a wonderful screen play which Woody Allen then stole and (mis)cast that one actress in…she’s not Diane Keaton, but they could’ve been sisters because I always get them confused (and she’s dead so who she is is highly irrelevant), the hat was her inspiration for “Annie Hall” (isn’t that the title? All that talk of multi-tasking has made my head ache.)…MY mother could never do all those things simultaneously btw, so my lack of success as a daughter may have reflected on her lack of skill sets..hmm.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You took this much deeper than I intended it to go, but I say that with respect and admiration. If you can take my random scribblings and manage to name-drop both Woody Allen and his interchangeable starlets, I feel at least a glimmer of validation for my efforts… 😉


  4. Hate to draw it back to couture, but most of the other comments are, so I’m drawing. Definitely looks like a bathrobe, but the collar looks like it wraps around the neck. On the other hand, the hat — really like that asymmetrical brim and her hair is perfect for it. So although Mellie makes bad choices based on her perceived limited choices of the time, she still wears a smashing hat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And really, smarty-chosen couture will always triumph in the end. Or at least that’s how I counseled myself in my budding gay-boy years. It took me a while to shake that off (now I think that worn-out jeans and a faded t-shirt are the pinnacle of fashion), but I’m not in a position to judge others. Surely I’ve never done such a thing on this blog… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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