Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #83

As Zelda walked into the Gamma Bamma Slamma sorority house for her interview, she was not at all disturbed by the exuberant smoking, the obvious fact that none of them had a professional stylist, or even the aura of possible lesbianism. She was, however, a bit concerned that no one was using the perfectly available couch to the left, a detail that spoke of a herd mentality that Zelda found rather dreary and uninspiring. She decided not to proceed with the interview, and she turned to make her way to the front door so she could flee and get a fresh, nonconformist breath of fresh air. As her hand reached for the knob, another hand stopped her.

“Please don’t go.”

Zelda’s eyes followed the intrusive hand up to a face. “Who are you and why are you touching my hand in a manner that could be considered foreplay in certain situations?”

Face: “My name is Ingrid Montoya. You thrilled my father. Prepare to fly.”

Zelda snatched her hand back. “That sounds like a misquoted quote from a book that hasn’t yet been written and a movie that hasn’t been filmed. It’s not really polite to get into a meta conversation with someone you’ve just met. I don’t trust you, and I clearly cannot choose the wine before me.”

Ingrid: “Your mind is a secret garden and the walls are very high.”

Zelda: “You just did it again, with the meta thing.”

Ingrid: “And you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. And you just did it yourself, with the wine reference that came out of the blue but seems to make sense.”

Zelda: “You’re right. I don’t know where it’s coming from but it sort of feels good, even though I normally don’t revel in absurdist fantasy because I’m such a cynic.”

Ingrid: “Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.”

Zelda: “Romantic? Is that what this situation is?”

Ingrid: “I’ll tell you the truth and it’s up to you to live with it.”

Zelda: “It seems I made a poor decision about the wine-choosing. I must learn to embrace the moment. And in that spirit, what should we do next, Buttercup?”

Ingrid: “I think we should have fun storming the castle and go tell those twits in the other room that life isn’t fair, but it’s fairer than death, and we should all embrace who we are instead of trying to conform to something we are not.”

Zelda: “As you wish. Let’s go.”


Note: Yes, folks, an entire post full of sometimes-mangled quotes from “The Princess Bride”. If you haven’t seen the movie (a wonderful thing) or read the book (even better), this missive might leave you cold. This is how it must be with the choices we make. After all, when I was your age, television was called books…


36 replies »

  1. Please enlighten me with the providence of this photo, hopefully it was fancy dress night, and they are not all smoking, fashion cahllenged idiots. 🙂
    Nice quotes by the way. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I tried to do some research on the photo (one I found years ago but no longer remember where), but the results were inconclusive. Some sources reference “The Great Gatsby” (not sure why), some reference Gertrude Stein (I get that somewhat) and most make general references about “the rise of feminism” (sort of get that, too). My gut tells me, based on the almost “costume party” appearance, that this is either a tribute or a parody and not a “real” documentary photo. But I could easily be wrong…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Some deluded souls take life advice from The Godfather. Inconceivable! Clearly the source of all wisdom and life direction is The Princess Bride. I’ll tell you the truth and its up to you to live with it.

    Liked by 2 people

      • Amazingly enough, The PB was actually on our regular free to air tv programming last night. Sometimes they do make good decisions. But it reminded me of your comment.
        I saw the movie when it first came out, and naturally adored it. But I thought to myself, if I get married someday, my husband has to like this movie, then I will know we are on the same wavelength. Could I really spend my life with someone who did not have this sense of humour?
        A few years later, I asked my crush, who was my best friend, what he thought of it. He said, “meh, it’s okay”. RED FLAG.
        A couple years after that, I was in the US visiting friends, and I met my husband. I came back the following year to spend more time with him. We were so different. He told me at the start he hardly watched movies. So imagine my complete surprise when one day, this following year, we were sitting on his couch and out of the blue HE asked ME, “have you ever seen the PB? That is my favourite movie.” I fell off the couch. I always imagined at the very least, I would ask him.
        I know, this isn’t exactly riveting stuff haha and a few times through the years I seriously questioned this dodgy method of mine, but we are still together. And we watched it last night. Still makes me laugh my head off. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        • That’s actually a wonderful story and I’m glad you shared it! And I don’t think your method is dodgy, as I’ve used similar assessments in the past, decades ago when I was dating. If someone doesn’t like a movie that you REALLY like, it’s definitely something to consider. It doesn’t mean the dis-liker is a bad person, of course, it’s just that they may not be a long-term person for you…

          Liked by 1 person

          • Thank you!
            And I only questioned it because, like most long term relationships, we had some challenging times. But otherwise, I assumed it would be fool proof, for the reason you said!
            Yes, I had to tell myself it doesn’t mean they are a bad person lol. When the first guy told me he thought it was just okay, I almost asked him what the hell was wrong with him haha

            Liked by 1 person

  3. If I was the gal on the floor, I’d be asking the one with her foot on me…”what the hell happened to your leg?”
    I have never seen the princess bride but I know the quote “prepare to die.” That was thrown around our house for years! 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve seen and over-enjoyed the Princess Bride since it came out. Originally it was viewed (by me) on the big silver screen (the 21st South Movie Theater) in 1987, on a ‘date’ with a smelly individual (he apparently thought soap and water, not to mention deodorants were for other people) – and yet he expected me to engage in an activity with which you, yourself might be acquainted. He was disappointed. I don’t touch sticks that don’t get washed. Or to mangle another immor(t)al quote: “Sticks that cleanliness decline, shall never get a kiss from mine (lips)” or something.. Aw. It’s hot and that got mangled, but you get the idea. Princess Bride is a classic and I hope to all the gods that some asshole wet behind the ears wanna be director or producer or whatever passes for same in Ballsywood these days doesn’t remake it. I might have to go to prison over that one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I completely agree that this movie should never be touched again. Everything came together perfectly and it cannot be recreated. It drives me crazy when people mess with a good cinematic thing. Why jack with a good thing. By the way, I found your “immor(t)al” wordplay to be quite fetching. You’re after my word-smithing heart… 😉


  5. “Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.” Now there’s a cast of characters for you. Romantics or pragmatists and we all know how overloaded one side of that human equation is with cynics. Or even “pocket cynics.” You know, hopeful, but doubtful.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A few years back, we were in a group of about 25 English-speaking people (all ages) and the question was asked about the best cult movie ever seen. I said ‘The Princess Bride’ and no one but me and Poor John had even heard of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Your mind is a secret garden… Love it! And yes, television equalled books, and being zoned out playing video games wasn’t a thing. Playing outside and getting dirty was. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. My favorite exchange from the movie (I looked it up so as to get it perfect):
    Count Rugen: Are you coming down into the Pit? Westley’s got his strength back. I am starting him on The Machine tonight.
    Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But, I’ve got my country’s five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I’m swamped.
    Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.

    Loved that movie!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lovely interchange. It’s an example of the wonderful aspect of this movie, in that you can watch it 427 times and still catch things that you missed, because you’re swooning or laughing over the previous scene and not fully on point from a viewing aspect. But seriously, if you haven’t read the book, you must immediately do so. There’s a substantial parallel story that doesn’t even appear in the movie, but is just as compelling in a completely different way…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, we read the book and loved it. It’s wonderful when both mediums are quality pieces. That so rarely happens.
        The thing I enjoy most about the movie is how every actor looks like they’re having great fun. I heard that Mandy Patinkin said Inigo Montoya was his favorite role. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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