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BuMP -#2: Psychotic Birds in a Boat Headed North by Northwest to Catch a Thieving Correspondent Intent on Sabotaging the Stranger on a Train Standing at the Rear Window and Holding a Rope Despite the Vertigo and the Trouble with Harry

[Left to right…]

Hume: “I’m not sure what I’m seeing. It’s almost indescribable, like the weird way these clothes make me look twelve years old.”

Henry: “Well, I lost my glasses fightin’ off that giant squid a few miles back while the rest of you did squat, but I think one of them words on that sign says ‘blog’ or some such.”

Tallulah: “Blog? That’s a wretched sounding word. It reminds me of how I felt when I realized my third husband was just as worthless as the first two contestants. Thank God I bought that bourbon distillery with the profits from my last movie, ‘Gone with the Liver’, or I never would have had the strength to pick a fourth husband. Of course, the codeine helped as well. Never leave a doctor’s office without a prescription. That’s how you stay on top in Hollywood.”

John: “Well, since I’m a swarthy, international supermodel blessed with impeccable genes and the innate ability to look stunning whilst naked on a casting couch, I have perfect vision. The sign reads ‘Alfred Hitchcock Blogathon Hosted by Maddy’. I’m not sure what that means, but it doesn’t appear to involve any nudity, so this might not be my forte.”

Mary: “Blogathon! I heard something about this in one of my court-ordered therapy sessions. We should seek shelter immediately and refuse to participate. Wait, they might have said ‘marathon’. Still, duck and cover before we all die!”

Canada: “Honey, settle down. I know you have social anxiety issues, based on that jacked-up hairdo you’ve got, but it’s going to be okay. I suggest you get with Tallulah over there and take whatever pill she has to offer. She’s got so many of them in her pockets that you could hit her with an oar and she’d explode like a piñata. A blogathon is nothing to get worried about. It’s just a little shindig where a group of bloggers agree to write about the same topic. Apparently Maddy is the host, and the subject is Alfred Hitchcock movies. See, nothing to be worried about.”

[The writer hits the carriage return and we are back on the left.]

Hume: “Well, I’m worried. I’ve never trusted anybody or anything since that time I ordered a bagel and lox at the deli and they brought out a piece of burnt toast with some tuna on it. I will never go back to Oklahoma City.”

Henry: “Hey! There ain’t nothin’ wrong with a good Tuna Crispy, especially when it’s 3am on a Sunday morning and you need to soak up all the barn-dance beer in your system so you can make it to church on time. I’m closer to Jesus because of those Tuna Crispies. Still, I don’t know if we should join this Blogathon thing. It smells like socialism. But I can write me a good story when it comes to those Alfred Hitchin’ Post movies. I really like that one where he has a cameo.”

Tallulah: “Are you even a real person or just a meme with a sound file attached? Oh, don’t even bother to answer. Life is too short and it’s obvious that you are not going to make it into the sequel for this movie. I say we give this Maddy Blogathon thing a chance. I always like a woman who defines her own needs without waiting to be told what those needs should be. I think we should all write a piece about Alfred Hitchcock movies. There, I’ve said it. Trash me on Twitter if you must. I can take it, and you can find the confirmation on any bathroom wall in the city.”

John: “But who is this Alfred Hitchcock person?”

Mary: “He’s the director of this movie, you clueless Trump offspring! Oh, that felt good to say. I think I just reached puberty!”

Canada: “Good for you, girl. One step at a time, and we will eventually reach the point where none of us need anxiety medications just to get through the day. Until then, we have the art of blogging to keep us sane. And now, a word from our sponsor, a true stranger on any train…”

Hey, folks! I just want to clarify that clicking on the link below will not require a commitment in any way. You can simply see what’s going on with Maddy’s tribute fiesta, review the movies that have already been snatched up by certain bloggers (I’m doing “Lifeboat”, in case this entire post has been unclear, something I’ve been accused of many times) and just revel in the fun that a movie blogathon can be. Tallulah is right, in that life is too short. Why not take a peek? You just might find a community you didn’t know you were looking for…



Um, if you’re still looking for the link, it’s the image right above this. Yeah, click on that…


22 replies »

  1. LOL Love it! Can’t wait to read your post about Lifeboat. Man in that picture they all look like they went to one hell of a party the night before. They are now waking up, eyes hurting from the sunlight, and all trying so hard to remember where they are.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you like how I did this, as it’s a hint of what’s to come in my actual review of the movie. As for the folks in the picture, I must confess that it looks just like my friends and I would look on any Sunday morning during my college years… 😉


  2. I’m drowning – this ocean isn’t one I’m familiar with, so I’m going to float off before I get swamped by the waves I don’t understand. Put on your floaties and dive in.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. ***following Claudette into the drink*** Uh. Who the hell is “Canada” anyway? I always thought it was that big continent north of us there, where they say “aye” a LOT and are so polite it makes one aware that one has no manners of any standing at all. I’m so under-informed.. another reason to try swimming away.. and if a flock of birds show up, well that’s the breaks. Maybe I’ll find a rocky shoal with an apparently abandoned motel on it and a really creepy guy manning the front counter that reminds me why isolating is a bad thing. Just like the head doctors always say.. even if the structure does have a sort of rancid smell about it, and some odd stains in the shower..

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was actually fascinated when I found out the guy on the far right’s name is Canada Lee. (Well, WAS his name. His boat sailed a long time ago.) I remember seeing the name in the credits of the movie, but I just assumed it was one of the female actors. (Or that maybe the Canadian version of the Sara Lee company was promoting its line of yummy deserts.) I think I may have to name one of my future characters “Canada”, just because you can do so many fun things with it. And, once again, I have rambled on about nothing for far too long, which should come as no surprise after that excessive blog title… 😉


  4. Damnit, you snatched the longest blog title award from me!
    Fun idea, though can’t imagine why you’d choose Lifeboat. Is it that you were certain you’d be the only one writing about it, or is it actually your favorite Hitchcock film? The mind reels!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I wasn’t intentionally meaning to usurp your throne, but I must admit that I got a slight thrill when I did a preview of the post and realized that the title took up half the screen. As for choosing “Lifeboat”, it’s not my favorite Hitchcock, although I do like it. It was more a balance of “whoops, some of the good ones have already been taken by other people in the blogathon” and “this movie has ‘Past Imperfect’ written all over it”. We shall see how wise my choice proves to be…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Tallulah is a little too close to the bone of my life for my liking and my attendant snort was inevitable . Fortunately I am not in France but staying with my mother in England and though hotly denying it (despite the fact that I have resorted to sign language and forcing her to watch my lips whilst I speak slowly), she is now quite deaf. Returning next week I must try to curb this hog-harmonizing tendency of mine. In the meanwhile, I am sashaying away to Alfred Hitchcock tribute land because the truth is, I need all the friends I can get. Now budge up and make a space on that lifeboat 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have shoved Someone Unworthy who dared to take a seat on the bench next to me, and I will protect this space with all of my various limbs until you can arrive with great fanfare. Rest assured that if we’re going down, we’re going down together… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I thought I’d seen all the AH movies but obviously missed the boat on this one. The ship must have sunk before I glimpsed it and a good thing all round judging from the cast. My favourite has to be What’s the matter with Harry? so I’m heading over to see what some much more talented wordsmith has done with that little gem. (Oh- in case you misunderstood- much more talented than ME – not you , who are awash with talent!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • I must admit that there are several AH movies which I have not perused, so I’m not quite an expert, but I’m trying to get there. As for the “Harry” movie, I have seen that, a few times, and I still don’t know what was up with the one closet door that keeps opening. And actually, that last sentence essentially defines my life… 😉


  7. Alfred Hitchin’ Post movies! Lol. This is perfect. Speaking of that brilliant Alfred guy, Rear Window is my favorite of all his movies. Or is it Vertigo? North by Northwest?? Guess i’m not sure after all, and i adore them all.

    Liked by 1 person

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