Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #193

Ruth: “I suppose we should get up and actually do something with our lives.”

Betty: “I don’t really see the point. I still have plenty of cigarettes left, I could do this all day. Although it would be nice to have an ashtray. Sorry about the carpet, dear.”

Ruth: “I suppose I could have one of the servants round one up, assuming we still have servants. That stock market has been really pesky lately. Do you remember what their names are, if we still have them?”

Betty: “They have names?”

Ruth: “Of course, dear. You have to put something on their paychecks.”

Betty: “Oh, I suppose they would, then. But can I ask you a question?”

Ruth: “Certainly. I hide nothing in this house except the good silverware, my jewelry, and unplanned pregnancies. Ask away.”

Betty: “Do you realize this is not actually a sectional sofa? It’s just two regular ones shoved up against each other, and not all that well.”

Ruth, sighing: “Yes, dear. I’m aware of the indiscretion. I noticed it about three years ago when my lithium prescription ran out and I couldn’t get an immediate refill. That same afternoon I also discovered that there is a third floor to this house. I had no idea before then.”

Betty: “That must have been a terrible day for you. However did you make it through?”

Ruth: “By getting a better pharmacist.”


(Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 05/08/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 07/23/15. Special shout-out to Maddy for recently digging in the Crusty archives and reminding me of this one.)


25 replies »

  1. LOVED this – reminded me of my college roomie Laura & I – while I still lived in the dorm.

    “Want to rally for class?”
    “Not really – I need another hour’s sleep.”
    [Repeat a few times until . . .]
    “Are we making it to Happy Hour today?”
    “Oh HELL yes, we can sleep when we’re dead!”
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to educate a world!”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. … have 2050 followers. 😮
    I swore to stop all following of me when I hit 69….just because of the obvious… but I can’t even get there!!!! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The word for sofa in French is canapé. The same word is used for darling little hors d’oeuvre passed around ones drawing room at a cocktail gathering. This has caused my little brain as much confusion as our recumbent belle’s third floor. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I suspect they didn’t want to crease or wrinkle their carefully ironed and starched frocks. With peons (koff koff servants koff..hack ) so hard to come by, one might have to do the work oneself, and that simply could not be tolerated. Something to be added to the growing list of hidden things: Work. How gauche.

    Liked by 1 person

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