Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #497

Judy: “I’m so excited that we’re finally at our senior prom!”

Mickey: “Me too! There are so many pretty girls here I could spit.”

Judy: “Wait. What does that mean? I’m your date, and you shouldn’t be noticing any pretty girls except me.”

Mickey: “Oh. Didn’t I tell you that I have a very short attention span?”

Judy: “You certainly didn’t have any trouble paying attention when we were in the backseat of your car last night.”

Mickey: “Well, that was yesterday. It’s a new day, a new broad.”

Judy: “Well! This is the thanks I get for taking you somewhere over the rainbow.”

Mickey: “Then maybe you shouldn’t have been so quick to spread your ruby slippers.”

Judy: “I can’t believe you’re saying these things to me. I thought we had something special.”

Mickey: “Oh, we certainly had our moment of paradise by the dashboard light, and it’s very obvious that one of those wicked witches in Oz taught you some moves that clearly don’t happen in Kansas. But this is America, and the man still gets to do whatever he wants when it comes to women, especially now that we have a president who is encouraging us to grab her by the slippers.”

Judy: “Are you kidding? Do you seriously not realize that the women of this country are fed up with the slipper grabbers and we have the right to vote?”

Mickey: “Do you mean the women who continue to vote Republican even though that party only wants to subjugate them? Good luck with that.”

Judy: “You’re forgetting one thing. Everyone has a breaking point. The pendulum might swing far to the right from time to time, but it eventually comes back and progress inches forward. There will be a day when you regret your ignorance of the power of the ruby slipper.”

Photographer: “And smile for the camera!”



Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 02/21/17. No changes have been made. Because the situation is still the same…


15 replies »

  1. Another clever post. May all the women who voted Republican wake up SOON, take off their ruby slippers, and hurl them into the face of the GOP.
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You are the maestro at dishing up a piece that has me snorting and smudging tearful eyes at the same time. We have a disaster on a plate at the moment. The tide will turn. The moon ensures it daily – what the sane of the world (and it is the wide wide world, sadly not just America) is be ready to spin à la Wonder Woman when the moment comes … i promise you, I’m already rehearsing daily 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m rehearsing as well, and I’m waffling on what to do when the tide turns. Should I be a gentleman and embrace those who spitefully strayed, joining hands and moving forward, or should I be defiant and perform the most amazing production number of “I told you so!” ever seen. In either case, I plan for my outfit to sparkle…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ooo. Yes still the same *sigh* I know where I’d like to shove my ruby slipper…but that simply isn’t lady-like. Besides getting orange poo off of faux ruby encrusted footwear is expensive. I know she’s dead (Judy) but is he still tottering around, leering in the creepy way some short guys do? He had an advantage of sorts … he could precisely ogle cleavage to his little heart’s content and nobody knew. Line of sight..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mickey has also moved on to a different flight pattern, but I would imagine he still has the right stature to review the inventory of the flight attendants. In any case, don’t shove the footwear. The cleaning bill is not worth the effort and it might give the shovee a degree of pleasure that they don’t deserve… 😉


    • Yes, there was always something a little off about him. At the same time, what talent did he possess that allowed him to woo (and sometimes marry) many of the most sought-after stars and starlets in Hollywood? Life is intriguing, indeed…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Mickey was the every-nerd of the depressed Thirties and war torn Forties. For all the guys who weren’t Gable or Grant or Bogart or Wayne or Holden or Cotton or war heroes (that list is too long) who had a nickel to throw at the movies and dream about sophomoric episodes with babes who were never quite as dumb as they played but set up a generation of women to believe Andy Hardy’s were the way it was because the guy on their arm at the prom wasn;t all those tall dark and handsome dudes either. He embodied the smug, stupid entitled sexists that still roam the halls of high schools and colleges. Testosterone with proximity and a mission and no clue. The tragedy is that 80 years later the future country club hostesses with weaponized sex and the gamey guys who only want that slipper stereotypes are still with us.
    “Oh my, Andy! What was THAT?”
    “The sound of your vagina caving in to eternal patriarchy.”
    “Oh my, Andy! We have all the slippers and almost half the money, we’re smarter and outnumber you. How can that be?”

    And the answer is…

    Liked by 1 person

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