Joan: “Oh, my lover, you excite me so.”
Cliff: “Really? That’s news to me. I’ve seen stronger signs of life at a mortuary.”
Joan: “Oh, silly, this is such a romantic setting. How could I not be in the mood?”
Cliff: “Romantic? This is a fake park bench on a fake set with two stupid fake trees looking like they want to be anywhere but here. I know the feeling.”
Joan: “But I’m clutching a branch from one of the fake trees to show my devotion.”
Cliff: “Devotion? Based on the limpness of your grasp, somebody needs to call a priest.”
Joan: “Fine. I’ll dispense with the professionalism, something you youngsters don’t know about. My hand is limp because your love-making is less interesting than cleaning the lint out of the dryer trap.”
Cliff: “My love-making? It’s a two-way street, sister. You need to let go of some of your rules. I can’t smear your lipstick, I can’t smudge your foundation, I can’t wrinkle your dress, and I have to wrench my back by leaning over this stupid bench, and I can only kiss your ear. Lovers don’t have rules, Morticia.”
Joan: “Lovers have rules when one of them has won an Oscar and the other hasn’t yet.”
Director: “And, cut! Good scene everybody, very believable. Let’s prep for the next shot. Be careful with those fake trees. Something tells me we’re going to need them a lot for the rest of the movie.”
Joan: “This means you can take your hands off of me, Second Billing.”
Cliff: “I’d love to. But the weight of your ego has caused my arm to go numb.”
Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 08/28/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 01/15/16. No changes made, as the dryer just dinged and I need to go check the lint trap…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
laughing…..
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The best thing one can do, yes?… 😉
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One can see how Count Dracula came about. Sucking blood would be far easier.
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Right? Adaptability is key to the survival of the species…
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Secretly laughing (I’m at work) 🙂
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Oh, thanks for the heads up. I’ll try to type quietly… 😉
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Are those eyebrows real? Surely they’re as fake as the trees!
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I expect a plane to land on one of them at any moment…
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*the weight of your ego has made my arm go numb* how I WISH I’d had that line when I was an in demand young vixen prostrating myself routinely on park benches for the delectation of my suitors 😉
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Your comment inspires so many follow-up questions that I don’t even know where to start, but it also inspires a blog idea that I simply must pursue or perish trying… 😉
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😉😉😉
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Lying on that bench has got to be bad for the back.
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Joan was a trooper and sacrificed everything for her artistry…
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Is it the lighting or does she need makeup on her ankle to conceal the strap line caused by her other shoes?
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See, now I’m going to be fixated on that overlooked detail, contemplating how I have failed in my accurate reporting on the human condition… 😉
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I always wanted a job in the continuity department. And you have other things to distract you. Fun post. Keep writing.
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Yeah, that’s an odd pose however you look at it. And is it just my screen, or does she look like she’s levitating just a bit? Which, you know, perhaps Joan could. As well as turn her head around in a complete circle.
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Yes, there does seem to be a bit of mystical mobility going here. I hope it’s just the fact that the front of the bench curves downward. If not, this movie just took on a whole new meaning…
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I wish I had a lint trap to clean out…
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Don’t we all?… 😉
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Her EGO made his arm go numb? I would have speculated that it was the size of her head (in addition to those woolly caterpillars she tried to pass off as eyebrows, after the unseemly (and NEVER talked about. In her hearing anyway) accident with the Bunsen burner and ethyl alcohol. I suspect she had a hard time getting through narrow doorways, and finding hat (millinery) in her size, not to mention wigs. It is a bane to have a big head….
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Let’s just say that Cliff had a hell of a lot to deal with in a very short amount of time. Which reminds me of my career at Verizon… 😉
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