Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #306

Father: “You’ve disappointed me again, Clara.”

Clara: “Whatever could you mean, Father?”

Father: “Coming home drunk again, all tarted up and messy.”

Clara: “How could you possibly think I was drink?”

Father: “”Because you’re talking to the hat rack over there, and I’m over here.”

Clara: “Oh. I was just… it’s an acting thing we learned about… in acting class… where we learn about acting with our eyes… so that we can… what was the question? Do we have any pickles?”

Father: “Do you also learn how to reek of gin in this acting class?”

Clara: “Yes! It’s very avenue garde… like what they do in France… when they are not… making cheese and… French stuff.”

Father: “Clara, your mother and I are very worried about your shameful behavior.”

Clara: “Oh, is Mother here? Is that her behind you? Hi, Mother! That’s a very pretty hat!”


Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 09/20/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 01/20/16. No changes made. I did contemplate a cameo from Sigmund Freud, but his agent never got back to me…

Current NaNoWriMo count, for those interested: 26,719


22 replies »

  1. I’ve been pondering what to wear for a 24 hour sojourn in Barcelona at the end of the week … I rather think I will give the interior design shop a try …. a hat like that and perhaps a floor length curtain could be très avenue garde do we think 🤔 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wonder if she’s as thunk as he drinks she is….*hic* excuse me. Thick as she’s drink…uh.. well whatever she is, from the lighting effects (see strange shadows of flowers and leaves on the wall, not to mention ‘mommy”)…I dhink..thrunk she’s making eyes at the camera man. Or lighting technician…the girl has her priorities straight, if not her hemline. Knees were always covered in those days or so I’m told.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hear there’s a new thing happening, the “You Watch Us While We Eat” buffet, where patrons stand at a plate-glass window and observe the kitchen staff as they nosh. Or maybe that’s just a dream I had. I need to stop gorging on ice cream before I go to bed…


      • I would like to work there. I want to start a thing where on your birthday your friends buy you a cake and they have to watch you eat it. They get none. Good way to find out whos been showing up at your birthday not to celebrate you but eat your cake.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Another Clara Bow, yay! She was darling. (I hope she was treated well; given the news of today, I worry about every woman who ever did movies.)
    But enough of that, I’m totally with Clara on this one. Given the funky shadows on the wall, it’s no wonder she has a hard time focusing!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lol! I think my grandmother had a hat quite like that lampshade. And might have talked to a hat rack or two back in my ‘carefree’ college days. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I’m certainly not one to judge when it comes to an animated conversation with something that is inanimate. I’ve had far too much alcohol in my life to have avoided such situations. I vaguely remember having a deep discussion about Sartre with the last remaining slice of pumpkin pie at a Thanksgiving family dinner, wherein I was woefully dissatisfied with all my relatives. I would assume that vodka was a participant, as that spirit is my go-to at such dinners… 😉


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