Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #490

Jeanne: “I can’t believe what is going on over there.”

Michael: “And I can’t believe the someone was actually paid to make your hair look like that.”

Jeanne: “Wait, what? Do you understand the button you just pushed?”

Michael: “Um… maybe not. I didn’t realize that I had pushed anything.”

Jeanne: “Oh, please. You just dismissed my appearance with the ease of throwing away a gum wrapper.”

Michael: “I’m not chewing any gum. Or following whatever path you’re on. Is this the point where I should accept the fact that we might not be hitting it off?”

Jeanne: “Really? You’re going to go there? Claiming ignorance like men have always done since you crawled out of the sea, even though we were the ones who cleared the beach so you could get your asses out of the water?”

Michael: “Wow. Okay, I clearly read a different script than you did. I thought this scene was all about how we meet cute and then we fall in love whilst an Alfred Newman score plays in the background.”

Jeanne: “Alfred can bite it. And you can, too. If you really can’t understand your flippancy, let me break it down for you. I’m sporting this hairdo because some man at the studio decided I should sport it. Women have always had to conform to the latest whims of the men who have the power. All a man has to do is show up and assume his mere ownership of a certain appendage grants him eternal rights to say and act as he pleases.”

Michael: “I fail to see how my stellar appendage should be part of this conversation.”

Jeanne: “And I fail to see how my hair should be part of this conversation. Why would you think it was okay to say something like that?”

Michael: “You see, Jeanne, this is where men get confused. Why shouldn’t we be able to speak our minds?”

Jeanne: “Because those minds shouldn’t be speaking if they don’t have anything decent to say. That’s the whole basis of the problem. Some men have so little regard for women that they can’t even absorb the concept that what they do and say is insulting.”

Michael: “I think you’re making a really big deal out of a bad hairstyle.”

Jeanne: “It’s not just the hairstyle, you twit. It’s everything. Women in this country are considered second-class citizens. Hell, everybody in this country is considered a second-class citizen by the overwhelmingly white, male and usually rich blowhards who are clinging to power, although there are a lot of poor blowhards out there who don’t understand they are being crushed by the very oligarchy they support.”

Waiter, wandering up with some degree of trepidation but hoping that he can finesse things so he still ends up with a decent tip: “So sorry to intrude, but some of the patrons in the cheaper seats are wondering why Madame is so urgently insistent and is using really big words that they don’t understand.”

Michael: “I was wondering the same.”

Jeanne: “Let me break it down for you. I’ve been watching the TV coverage of the Women’s March and it’s very clear that millions of people attended the marches and roughly two people attended the inauguration of Princess Tiny Hands, once you rule out all the people who were paid to show up at the ceremony even though they can’t even read the signs they were handed to carry.”

Michael: “You can’t actually prove anything that you just said.”

Jeanne: “And that will be the legacy of the Trump Administration.”


Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 01/23/17, right after that travesty of an inauguration, making this re-post slightly dated. No changes made because, well, nothing WILL change until certain voters understand that they have made a terrible mistake. And many of them won’t grasp the concept until they are impacted directly, the boomerang effect of voting for someone who doesn’t give a damn about common decency…


25 replies »

  1. Of course this pithy morsel is right on point and in being so makes me simultaneously giggle and gulp which is what great comedy writing should do. But it is your italicized footnote that makes me saddest …. Nothing. Will. Change. I’m now off to find a wind blown, snowed in Shepherds hut to live out my days away from this world of gross indecency and blind indifference to the blazingly obvious. I’ll be the woman pulling a sled with all my worldly goods tied to it in the style of a latter day Mother Courage (except there will be absinthe and unfeasibly pretty pâtisserie involved)

    Liked by 5 people

    • I might just join you in that hut. I’ll bring the brie. (Random trivia: I once had a tiny part in a production of “Mother Courage”, playing a guard or some such. I had one single word of dialogue. “Cor!” I never fully understood what that word meant, but I hollered it with conviction.)

      Liked by 1 person

      • You would be most welcome. Mother Courage is one of my favourite plays – in fact I am currently reading it in a new translation setting it in Scotland. Very gritty. And gnarly. It rather works. I’ll look out for the ‘Cor’ and imagine it uttered by you (though I don’t know your voice but we have imagination … isn’t that the savings grace)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Given the news from Hollywood, et al., this isn’t at all dated. On the other hand, some people are waking up, awareness is growing. I find reason to hope.
    Slightly off topic: Yesterday I was talking to one of our teachers about a student in his class when he interrupts to tell me how nice I look. Now, I fully understand that was a compliment, but… what the hell? Would I interrupt him to tell him he looks great in plaid? Of course not.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I do have hope, every day. But I also have my cranky moments when I get despondent and assume tragic poses on the lanai. As for the interruption, well, it takes a long time for some folks to move beyond bad learned behavior, and some never make it…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, big sigh. Sighs. Maybe even some tears. Because some people are so so blind. Some people think real things are being done by our government. Some people don’t realize they may not have a planet suitable for living on sooner rather than later. Some people think they’ve been forgotten in the past – wait till they see the future – if ever they do. Personally I’m growing weary of this knot in my stomach. Personally, I might punch the next man that speaks to me. Just because. He’s a representative of “them”. Oh, but not you, Brian! Certainly not you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I fully understand the urge to punch, especially since that’s the only thing that will get the attention of some men. I just don’t understand how some folks can be so filled with belligerent hate and refuse to see it for what it is. I grew up in a very racist and misogynistic environment, and even as a small child it sickened me…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so funny as always, but i feel a little queasy at the same time. I had the foolish hope a few months ago that Trump would have been kicked to the curb by now. Alas. And everything rotten that follows him. But now that Flynn has turned on Trump, maybe i can have a little hope again??

    Liked by 1 person

    • We can’t ever give up the hope. Sometimes I have to shut down and ignore the world for a few days, but I will keep coming back. Flynn might be a turning point, fingers crossed, but I think the real sea change will happen when the non-rich Trump voters see their taxes increase dramatically, their medical coverage evaporate and social services get shuttered. Some people only get it when it hits them in the pocketbook…


      • I haven’t given up hope either and won’t. I still ‘can’t believe’ he was elected in the first place. And i agree about the going away awhile. I just took a two week break of sorts and feel much better now. Not sure how long that feeling will last…

        Liked by 1 person

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