Reporter, passing by: “Excuse me, gentlemen. Could I have a word with you?”
Edward: “We’re a little busy here and this thing is kind of heavy so… no.”
James: “Get lost, sister.”
Reporter: “This will only take a few minutes. I couldn’t help but notice that you appear to be in the midst of a heist. As a reporter, I find that very exciting.”
Edward: “A heist? This ain’t a heist. We’re just… moving stuff. We’re movers. On a job.”
Reporter: “And why would you need a gun for that?”
James: “It’s for safety. This is a bad neighborhood. People get killed all the time. Like nosy reporters.”
Reporter: “Wait a minute. That box looks like it has alcohol in it. Alcohol is against the law during Prohibition. Why are you moving boxes of alcohol?”
Edward: “This ain’t alcohol, it’s…”
James: “It’s a casket. See, it has “Old Grand-Dad” on it. Grandpa didn’t make it.”
Reporter: “It also says ‘bourbon whisky’ on it.”
Edward: “That was his nickname. He liked to drink whiskey. He died because he was so sad about not getting to drink it anymore.”
Reporter: “That’s an awfully small box for a casket.”
James: “Grandpa was really short. He was in the circus. Are you making fun of short people who die?”
Reporter: “Of course not, I would never dream of it. But the box says ‘Since 1788’. Was Short Grandpa also a vampire?”
James: “Okay, I’ve had enough. Lady, you need to move along or you are never going to write any news stories again.”
Reporter: “That sounds like a threat. I don’t take kindly to threats.”
James: “Do you take kindly to bullets?”
Reporter: “Well, not necessarily. So I suppose I should go. But I do have one more question.”
Edward: “It better be your last. We gotta get Grandpa in the ground.”
Reporter: “Why are both of you wearing so much makeup that this looks like fetish night at a gay bar?”
Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 10/17/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 02/03/16. No changes made. This reminds me of another story in the archives about that time I… wait, I’ve teased a few stories lately and then not followed through on the promise. I need to grow as a person and stop doing that, so, um, nothing to see here in this comment, just move along…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
And that belt over the coat? What’s with that?
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There are so many things wrong with this photo that it was a pleasure chest of ideas… 😉
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*He died because he couldn’t drink it any more* …. I sympathise 😉
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I may have to put this one on my revolving list of potential epitaphs…
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Do.
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Oh yeah, pass the whiskey. Or, the Old Grand Dad.
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Or the blush and foundation…
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Funny from beginning to end.
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Thank you, sir!
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I liked your “tease not tease”. Smart move.
Seriously thought that was Marlon Brando in this pic. Must have been the makeup. 😉
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I am really trying to learn from past mistakes. My comment archives are riddled with me saying “let me go find the story about the kumquat” and then I never do. It’s just too emotionally taxing and I have to break the cycle. As for Brando, well, I’m not sure that he would ever let a mere prop upstage him like that…
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And here I was thinking it might be a piece for placement in the coming Revue of Men who look really surly” follies (explains the make-up at least…;) *snort* “you makin’ fun of short men who died??” Sounds like something that would said up here…
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I’m somewhat enamored by “The Really Surly Follies”. It sounds like I might need to do a series on Crusty Pie concerning machismo and poor choices…
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Er…forgot one thing. Isn’t James (or Edward. Forgive me. I’m challenged) .. a COP? Could arrest the nosy reporter for documenting the fact that he is apparently on ‘the take’….
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James does appear to have a clever little badge on his fetching chapeau, exuding a hint of law enforcement, but it could just as easily be a Pokemon of some kind…
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Journalists: getting it wrong since 1931!
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Fake news! Duck and cover!
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Wow! Lol. That is indeed a fascinating photograph. This makes me think of one of those Bob Hope Road movies. Lotsa makeup there. Lots and lots! Lol again.
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I’m just happy that photos like this exist, as it really helps on those days when my creativity is ebbing instead of flowing. I see something like this and we’re off… 😉
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