Henry: “Are you sure that we should be doing this right now? What about the other guests at the party?”
Barbara: “Don’t be such a fuss. Everyone is having cocktails on the lanai. They’ll be out there for hours, guzzling gin and trying to impress each other with things they haven’t actually done. They won’t even notice we’re gone.”
Henry: “Oh, I think your husband will notice.”
Barbara: “What makes you say that? He never pays any attention to me.”
Henry: “Because I think I’m sitting on him right now.”
Barbara, leaning over to peer between Henry’s legs. “Hector? What the hell are you doing down there?”
Hector, muffled: “Well, I lost a contact, and while I was looking under the coffee table, you lover apparently mistook me for a bench.”
Barbara: “How awkward for both of you.”
Henry: “Awkward doesn’t even begin to-”
Hector: “Hey, Babs! I just found Fluffy’s missing catnip puffball.”
Barbara: “That’s wonderful. I’ll ring for Hans to bring the pussy in here.”
Henry: “Am I the only one who finds this conversation to be-”
Hector: “Henry, old chap, would you mind squirming around just a bit? The pressure you’re putting on my spine is delicious but you haven’t quite hit that spot the chiropractor always finds. If you hear something pop, don’t be alarmed.”
Henry: “If you only knew how alarmed I already am.”
Hector: “Whoops. You’re squirming feels so good that I just dropped the puffball and it bounced under your crotch. I hate it when that happens.”
There is a meow at the door.
Barbara: “Fluffy! Daddy found your puff toy! Come and get your ball!”
Henry: “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea right at the moment.”
Barbara: “Don’t be silly. Just keep riding my husband and spread your legs a little wider so Fluffy can get in there and dig for treasure.”
Henry respectfully declined all future dinner invitations from Barbara.
Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 04/25/17. No changes made. Trivia enthusiasts, take note: I believe this is the first time that the photo I used on Crusty Pie is not the same one I’m using here on Bonnywood. I decided the original was just too tiny and fuzzy, and I couldn’t find a better quality snap. This image is still the same scene and moment in the movie, just a different angle. All of this babble is essentially meaningless, but I do strive to put a personal note in these footers, so, there you have it.
Categories: Past Imperfect
Oh my! That piece is hysterical! 🙂
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I’m glad you liked it, even if it means you can never look at puff balls the same way again… 😉
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That’s the funniest yet !
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Thank you very kindly. Here’s hoping that I can transcend this one and reach an even higher goal. On the flip side, I’d be just as happy to spend the day reading an excellent book and then have a nice dinner with my chosen family…
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LOL. Brilliant piece
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Thanks, Marc-Andre. And now I’m off to retrieve Fluffy from her therapist appointment…
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Good luck 😉
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Brilliant.😊
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Thank you!
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Excuse me while I choke on my laughter!
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Let’s not choke too hard. I’m sure you’ve already got your next excursion arranged and you can’t waste any time being taken to hospital…
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LOL. What made me laugh even more reading this, is that I could actually hear Fonda’s lines in his voice. Excuse me, I need to go and get some help now to stop laughing. 🙂
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I’m so glad you noticed that. I usually don’t mess that much with trying to have the dialogue match the actual actor, but this time I actually did with Henry… 😉
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In case you were wondering, I *live* for your personal notes.
Our Merricat is barely six pounds, yet somehow when she steps on you in, um, certain areas… 😳
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I know you peruse the personals with great care, yet another reason why your well-deserved crown sparkles so…
And it never fails that anytime one of the cats is experimenting with airborne launches, they also manage to land right in the Forbidden Zone. Scotch never has that type of precision whilst using the litter box, so I don’t know what’s going on…
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Do ‘cups’ go with formal wear? I hope ol’ Henry remembered his…
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He certainly will going forward…
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Obviously I’m not attending the best cocktail parties.
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I often find myself thinking the same thing…
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Lol snort! Fluffy can dig for treasure.
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Fluffy might be in for a big surprise. Or the lack of one…
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Indeed. Snort!
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