Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #516

Henry: “Are you sure that we should be doing this right now? What about the other guests at the party?”

Barbara: “Don’t be such a fuss. Everyone is having cocktails on the lanai. They’ll be out there for hours, guzzling gin and trying to impress each other with things they haven’t actually done. They won’t even notice we’re gone.”

Henry: “Oh, I think your husband will notice.”

Barbara: “What makes you say that? He never pays any attention to me.”

Henry: “Because I think I’m sitting on him right now.”

Barbara, leaning over to peer between Henry’s legs. “Hector? What the hell are you doing down there?”

Hector, muffled: “Well, I lost a contact, and while I was looking under the coffee table, you lover apparently mistook me for a bench.”

Barbara: “How awkward for both of you.”

Henry: “Awkward doesn’t even begin to-”

Hector: “Hey, Babs! I just found Fluffy’s missing catnip puffball.”

Barbara: “That’s wonderful. I’ll ring for Hans to bring the pussy in here.”

Henry: “Am I the only one who finds this conversation to be-”

Hector: “Henry, old chap, would you mind squirming around just a bit? The pressure you’re putting on my spine is delicious but you haven’t quite hit that spot the chiropractor always finds. If you hear something pop, don’t be alarmed.”

Henry: “If you only knew how alarmed I already am.”

Hector: “Whoops. You’re squirming feels so good that I just dropped the puffball and it bounced under your crotch. I hate it when that happens.”

There is a meow at the door.

Barbara: “Fluffy! Daddy found your puff toy! Come and get your ball!”

Henry: “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea right at the moment.”

Barbara: “Don’t be silly. Just keep riding my husband and spread your legs a little wider so Fluffy can get in there and dig for treasure.”

Henry respectfully declined all future dinner invitations from Barbara.


Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 04/25/17. No changes made. Trivia enthusiasts, take note: I believe this is the first time that the photo I used on Crusty Pie is not the same one I’m using here on Bonnywood. I decided the original was just too tiny and fuzzy, and I couldn’t find a better quality snap. This image is still the same scene and moment in the movie, just a different angle. All of this babble is essentially meaningless, but I do strive to put a personal note in these footers, so, there you have it.


22 replies »

    • Thank you very kindly. Here’s hoping that I can transcend this one and reach an even higher goal. On the flip side, I’d be just as happy to spend the day reading an excellent book and then have a nice dinner with my chosen family…

      Liked by 1 person

  1. LOL. What made me laugh even more reading this, is that I could actually hear Fonda’s lines in his voice. Excuse me, I need to go and get some help now to stop laughing. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know you peruse the personals with great care, yet another reason why your well-deserved crown sparkles so…

      And it never fails that anytime one of the cats is experimenting with airborne launches, they also manage to land right in the Forbidden Zone. Scotch never has that type of precision whilst using the litter box, so I don’t know what’s going on…

      Liked by 2 people

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