“I love you more than beer.”
“You complete my bobble-head collection.”
“You tractor-pulled my heart.”
“Your eyes sparkle like moonshine.”
“You are the prettiest girl in the Wal-Marts parking lot.”
“I love you like a sister. Oh wait…”
“Love means never havin’ to say which one of them kids is really mine.”
“The day we got married was the best day I ever had with a shotgun in my back.”
“You had me at hello, I’m here to slop the hogs.”
“You sure look nice sittin’ next to my gun rack.”
“I can’t really read this but the pictures are shiny.”
“I would love you even if I couldn’t use your teeth to open my beer bottles.”
“Momma says we oughta get married cuz then you won’t have to change the last name on your gun permit.”
“If they had your picture on the menu at the Dairy Queen, I’d order you every day.”
“I came here tonight cuz when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you better check for ticks.”
“Don’t forget I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to stop knockin’ her up every 20 minutes.”
“I don’t know how to quit you from running after the mail truck, but you sure can make a fine cherry pie.”
“You’re the only woman in the world that doesn’t have a restraining order on me.”
“If you can’t be with the one you love, it’s probably because one of us is in jail.”
“I love the way you hold my spittoon.”
“Our love will never be broken. Unless somebody raids the meth lab. Then I ain’t never heard of you.”
“Darlin’, you are more important to me than most of my trucks.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, banjos played at our wedding, and lots of cows did moo.”
“Every time I walk in the barn I think of our first night together.”
“I would finish the fourth grade for you.”
Previously published in “The Sound and the Fury” on 02/10/12 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 02/14/14 and 02/14/17. No changes made from the last version, although by now this thing looks nothing like the original post. This is what happens when I can’t leave things alone and call it good. Wait, did I just write #26?
Categories: Humor
Bonnywood Manor 
These are so beautiful… there are tears in my eyes… 😀
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Poignant poetry, yes?
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I love you like a sister….lol!
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Love moves in mysterious ways… 😉
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You should be working for Hallmark 🙂
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Oh. I thought I was. My bad… 😉
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hysterical, – where can I buy your cards then? Have you got any that capture the pathos of not getting a Valentine because you are old, and grey and fat and widowed? 🙂 🙂 – Nah, never mind, I think I can manage without a card that means that!
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Haha! These are gold! I think I just broke a rib from laughing.
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Please don’t sue for damages. I don’t think I have enough medical coverage… 😉
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I’ll let you off then. My ribs are demanding a laughter health warning is attached to all future posts though. 😉
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Real true love😂😂😂🐄🐄🐄🐄
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A romance for the ages… 😉
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Ah, this is oozing with sentiments like a jelly donut
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Exactly. You never know what’s going to squirt out of where…
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We met at the prayer meetin’
Revival and hoe down too
Yer pigtails excited me
And that gap tooth smile – woo.
The preacher done introduced us
I couldn’t believe my luck
Who cares if you’re my cuzin
Because you sure know how to …
Going to leave it there and people can rhyme in any suitable word at the end there… Happy Hearts and Flowers Day dear…<3
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Such beautiful verse! I sense some Ralph Waldo Emerson in there. Or at least the man from Nantucket… 😉
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Oh, forgot my own ending…. Because you shore know how to drive a truck! 😉
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Uh huh. I’m sure that’s the exact ending you envisioned… 😉
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Oh, Brian. You know how to get a girl nostalgic. My first husband told me I had “breeder hips”. This is one of several reasons there was a second husband.
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That first one sounds like a real charmer. How could you possibly let such a catch go?
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Nice use of bobbleheads!
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I specialize in such… 😉
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‘nother true romantical
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It’s like Shakespeare! With an outhouse…
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“And I might even start the 5th grade after I finish the 4th!” (Thay was my unsolicited addition) 😂🤣😂 you’re brilliant. I laughed all the way through.
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It all started one day when I fell in love with a cricker…
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Loved it before, love it even more today.
Latching on to Claudette’s comment above, I can see your “roses are red” line making a particularly nice greeting card. You should get on that. ❤️
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I have my staff doing a bit of networking as we speak…
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Progressive Redneck Valentine Greeting Card ; Yer pretty’er than when GrandPa when he was a girl.
This series was discontinued after the big fire & the hangin’..
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But still, the embers from the fire burned, emboldening the disenfranchised. Eventually there would be an uprising…
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The Victorians used to send ‘Vinegar’ cards to those they didn’t like. There’s an interesting post on Brighton Museum’s website:
https://brightonmuseums.org.uk/discover/2014/09/08/love-letters-and-hate-mail-victorian-vinegar-valentines/
I’m sure glad that practice has died out!
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And yet a small part of me yearns to revive such a practice. That’s the part of me which requires therapy… 😉
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Remind me to stay on your right side!
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So romantic and sweet! Lol. I absolutely cannot pick a favorite. Snort. I can just hear all these in my mind’s ear, and i can hear someone saying them all with a piece of straw garbling his or her speech. Then, i also picture a dearth of teeth…
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And mooing. There must be mooing in the background… 😉
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Of course. Lots of loud mooing. And clucking. Don’t forget the clucking.
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I feel like we’re attacking my roots here 🧐
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If I keep at it, my entire family tree will topple…
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Hahaha 🤗
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Awesome
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Thanks!
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“I would finish the fourth grade for you.” And they say romance is dead.
My fave is: “You complete my bobble-head collection.” I nearly did a snort-laugh! (How embarrassing.)
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I’m rather partial to that bobble-head one as well. And there’s nothing wrong with snort-laughing. It cleanses the spirit. Or clears the room. I forget which… 😉
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These are all utterly awesome 😛
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Perhaps I should branch out and open up a chain of Bonnymark Card Stores. Or maybe not… 😉
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