1. Who are all these strange people sleeping on your couches? Granted, some of them look a little familiar, so they could actually be invited guests who decided they might not be in the best condition to get on the nation’s highways. But it’s hard to tell. Let’s […]
Flashback… On the patio, Hemington, England, 9am, 22 May 2015 There’s a young lamb in the neighbor’s yard, bleating and prancing about, welcoming the day. Her name is Charlotte, a tribute to the recent addition to the royal lineage, courtesy of Prince William and Duchess Catherine. Apparently this […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Think They Can Sing but They Really Shouldn’t, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. I’m sure a few of you are beginning to wonder if this festival will ever end, […]
Gracie learned at a young age that most people were completely useless, and that the only way to have a satisfactory life was to avoid those fools entirely. And keep reading books… Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 03/10/17. No changes made. And yes, I had the […]
Mary, left: “I’m so excited about getting to be in a Mack Sennett picture!” Marie, right: “Oh, is that what we’re doing? I thought I was waiting in line to get past the velvet rope at a Steampunk-Goth nightclub.” Mary: “That means nothing to me. But I will […]
Note: This is an excerpt from another book-in-progress, one concerning a family cruise in the Caribbean. All you really need to know is that Tiffany is my best friend, Terry is my partner, and things can get steamy in the heat of a tropical sun… Now, let’s […]
Becky Thatcher: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom Sawyer: “But Huck said all the answers we ever wanted is at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks […]
Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?” Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.” Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?” Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.” Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?” […]
Note: I finally broke down and started paying someone to take care of the yard, having fretted previously about justifying the expense. Turns out this was one of the best decisions, ever, and the joy of not having to screw with all that mess is indescribable. But […]
Katharine, left: “I can’t believe that this has happened.” Elizabeth, right: “That somebody let you out of your house wearing a Bea Arthur outfit?” Katharine: “No, that somebody designed a bra that makes your breasts look like that.” Elizabeth: “But I’m not even wearing a bra.” Katharine: “Oh, […]
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