Lady on the Left: “Girl, what’s up with that humongous thing on your head and the Bible nestled in your safety-dance zone? I was pretty proud of my Napoleon-tribute hat-wear until you came along.”
Lady on the Right: “If you must know, I’m just trying to be closer to Jesus.”
Lady on the Left: “Seriously? Six inches of Hindenburg blimp on your noggin is really going to make a difference? I think you should try what the lady on the other side of me did, when she catapulted herself toward the clouds after she saw an image of Our Savior in a piece of saltwater taffy.”
Lady on the Right: “Did she find salvation?”
Lady on the Left: “No, she found the seafood restaurant at the other end of the beach. Imagine the look of surprise on the owner’s face when she fell out of the sky and landed in a barrel of salted cod.”
Lady on the Right: “How horrifying!”
Lady on the Left: “I know! They had to throw out the whole barrel. Now I’ve got to figure out something else to eat for dinner.”
Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 04/14/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 04/01/16. Revised and extended for this post. Update: Tumbling Taffy recovered quite nicely from her salt-scented injuries and was eventually hired by the Barnum & Baileys Irish Cream Traveling Circus as a trapeze artist…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
Hahaha! 🙂 Brilliant.
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Thanks, Maddy!
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ROFL
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Be careful with the rolling. You might whack your injured hand on something and then it won’t be so funny… 😉
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But haven’t you heard? Laughter is the best medicine.
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Don’t know why I wasted my money on a hiking hat when I could have had one of these!
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They are quite stunning, indeed. I’m very jealous… 😉
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I’ve been away a while but I am landed safely and this is a splendid re-introduction to the whimsy world of Lageose! And in a spooky moment of close coincidence I had salt-water taffy explained to my in Provincetown (Cape Cod to bring things even more eerily close to the fish-bone) by a delightful and effusive frankly ebullient fellow whilst as I twiddled my lustrous locks outside a candy store waiting for my husband. I had the distinct impression this particular fellow was more smitten with my husband than me but put this down to jet lag and delirium 😉
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I am riveted by the image of you twiddling your lustrous locks outside a candy store. It sounds like the perfect opening for a novel wherein the main characters initially seem sweet but we soon found out that the guests at a local seaside resort are checking out in the middle of the night and never seen again. Is there something untoward in the taffy? Is malfeasance afoot? Who could be responsible for the madness? Surely it’s not The Twiddler Woman!
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The Rapture, 1800s style. After seeing Jesus in a piece of salt water taffy yet. Wow. That restaurant owner should have felt honored.
The chapeaus so stunned me that I’ve not yet regained equilibrium, and it may take some copious amounts of chocolate to find my feet again. I may have developed yet another phobia, something about huge hats that eat places like Manhattan and women who appear to be dressed for any eventuality. Even beach chairs that swing…. my o my.
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Well, the restaurant owner might not have been moved, but the salted cod certainly was.
And yes, I feel that copious amounts of chocolate are well-advised in almost any discombobulating situation. But I’m not sure what we can do about the city-devouring hats. I’ll have to get back to you on that angle… 😉
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😂😂😂😂
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🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I store all my salt water taffy in my safety-dance zone. None of them look like Jesus, but there is one that looks like Steve Buscemi.
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I’m so glad you mentioned the safety-dance zone, as it’s my fave phrase in this particular romp. And you should hang onto that bit of Steve taffy. It might help you get into the Sundance Film Festival next year…
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A bookish chastity belt. How novel. 😉
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You’re just dripping in cleverness, aren’t you?… 😉
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Never pays to be shot out of a cannon.
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Well, there might be a few circumstances where it might come in handy, but mostly it does not… 😉
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And if you didn’t notice, they’re wearing corsets! FYI, I had more hits on a blog about corsets than the one about 19th century vibrators. Go figure.
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It’s quite fascinating what some folks will seek out on the the Internet. [I say this as I quietly erase my own internet history…]
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Finding Cod is a religious experience, joyful as a barrel of monkeys.
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I’ve always thought so. And when the Gospel Carp Choir comes out and sings “Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory of the Coming of the Bait”? Sublime.
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That choir know their scales, and they always have a big Finish. 🙂
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