Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #558

Carole, reviewing the proposed advertisement: “Don’t you find this to be a little bit… insipid?”

Carole’s Agent: “Of course not. Don’t all women want to be dainty and clean? This ad is doing a public service, really.”

Carole: “Oh, please. Like women don’t know how to sluice the chute without the help of over-priced beauty bars. I find all of this to be entirely offensive.”

Agent: “Perhaps this will help. The word on the street is that you might get a nomination for your latest movie, Nurse Dixie and the Swarthy but Charismatic Veterinarian. Wouldn’t it be swell if potential female voters in the Academy could see your image on the wrapper as they go about their sluicing?”

Carole: “That means nothing to me. I want to be appreciated for my art without artifice. Or my orifice.”

Agent: “Well, let me approach it from this angle. If you don’t agree to this financial opportunity to tramp yourself for commerce, you’ll be forced to sell the house in Maui. Your last two pictures hit the crapper with a thud that nearly knocked the moon out of alignment. You have a negative income stream.”

Carole: “Oh. Well, that’s an entirely different matter. Where do I sign?”

 

Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 11/03/17. Slight changes made. And if I had to select the most disturbing element of this imagery, I would go with the mention that Carole is the star of RKO Radio’s “They Knew What They Wanted”. That title gives things an air of tawdry aggression, as if a gang of hardened women broke out of prison and attacked a nearby soap factory, demanding daintiness and clinging fragrances. It truly was a different time…

 

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