Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #119 (Variations on a Theme)

Note: This is another Crusty Pie post where the original is a bit lackluster. So, let’s mess around with it, shall we?


Original Take.

As is typical, none of the men could figure what they might have done that caused a child to suddenly become a part of their lives…


Rewind, Take Two.

The White House Staff struggled in vain to keep cranky little Donald away from the Twitter machine…


Rewind, Take Three.

Man on far left: “Any of you guys need some fresh fish?”

Man on near left: “I hope the fish is fresher than you look.”

Bebe: “I don’t have any teeth, you fool.”

Man on near right: “Do you remember that time we tried the blowfish in Osaka?”

Man on far right: “I’ve never even been to Japan. But I’ve tried the clam chowder at Red Lobster, and it was probably just as dangerous.”


Rewind, Take Four.

Left to right…

John Lennon: “Look, mates, I don’t understand what the problem is.”

George Harrison: “The problem is that she won’t stop howling.”

Yoko Ono: “Why won’t you let me join the band?”

Paul McCartney: “Sometimes I just wanna fill the world with contraceptives.”

Ringo Starr: “And once again, I don’t understand your lyrics, Monkey Finger.”

Paul: “Actually, John wrote that bit.”

Ringo: “All the more reason that we don’t need no Yoko.”


Rewind, Take Five.

The conservative judges of the United States Supreme Court huddle together and plot their next move to stop immigrants from entering America, ignoring the fact that they are all descendants of immigrants…


Rewind, Take Six.

Bottle of chianti in the lower right: “Where is Billy Joel when we need him?”


Rewind, Take Seven.

The original cast of “Friends”, before Lisa Kudrow was hired and Courtland Cox had a sex change…


Rewind, Take Eight.

Another Italian film is released that nobody can understand except the Italians…


Rewind, Take Nine.

I’d do the guy on the far right. You?


Rewind, Take Ten.

Left to right…

Blogger #1: “But this post is really important to me and it came from my soul.”

Blogger #2: “No it didn’t. You threw some random crap together and crossed your fingers.”

Blogger #3: “And you never comment on my own site so why should I care about you?”

Blogger #4: “I really don’t get all the weird references and obscure trivia. I just don’t have the time. Don’t you think we should drop Bonnywood from our feed, Blogger #5?”

Blogger #5: “Well, he said he would do me. I think that’s worth a few more likes. I just wanna fill the world with silly love wrongs…”


Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 04/02/15. Revised considerably for this post, much to the chagrin of decent people everywhere. (P.S. I’m Italian, so let’s not get too worked up about that Italian remark. The other stuff? Fair game, Monkey Finger.)


25 replies »

  1. LMAO. Comedy gold.

    Take 11: Try as she might, she just couldn’t stop them singing on Karaoke night down the pub.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. *before Courtland Cox got a sex change* … let the snorting commence anew – I can always pretend it’s fashionable and chic in France – I honestly don’t think the neighbors here would know any different 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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